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An Ungrateful Thanksgiving Post

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
I've thought about keeping a journal about all the super crappy things that happen to me on a daily basis. It's not like, world shattering stuff, it's more like I'm-going-to-jump-off-a-cliff-if-this-happens-again kind. And I mean that in the least suicidal sounding way. Once again, I will remind you I am somewhat of an exaggerator in my speech/words/thoughts.

So here's a short list of the mighty stupid things that have occurred or KEEP occurring, just in different forms.

  • When I first got here to Fort Huachuca (I think I told you about this), got the kids out, myself out, and walked to the distance to the commissary door to find out it is closed on Mondays. What?

  • Tried tightening the lace on my moccasins that ALWAYS comes loose and it broke.

  • Didn't have a key to the hotel room after getting home and getting out and getting unloaded. At the door of course.

  • Went to the FAMILY gym. Where my kids can play right in front of my face and Nevie cried. She could see me and cried. Bawled actually. There were toys. And a Barbie movie. Hysterical.

  • Tried to go to the gym every day since being here. Been successful ZERO times.

  • Went to the library. This involved leaving post, driving, getting out, getting the stroller all situated and making yet another long walk to the front door. Closed. Apparently EVERYTHING opens later or is not open at all on Mondays. Mondays?? WHYYYYY?

  • Got soda/pizza/spaghetti sauce/chocolate syrup/jelly on my white shirt/brand new sweater/fancy blouse. And this is not always my fault. I have kids remember?

  • Got the urge to go to the bathroom at the most inconvenient time. Again, not always me, but kids too. For example, while we're in Target and looking at toys which, makes everyone mad because no one wants to leave those aisles!

Mikey by Joey Ellis (stickers for Messenger on Facebook)
Many of these show how I feel.

  • No sleeping. Ever. It's just not a thing here. So there's that, and did I mention how we don't sleep?

  • In a hurry, and there's no gas in the vehicle.

  • Changed Nevies diaper. And its crappy. And we're on the bed. And she decided to go crazy. White sheets. Yup.

  • Went to church. It was Stake Conference. (It started 2 hours before our normal time).

  • Changed another one of Nevie's diapers. It was the last diaper. The little closing strap thing... ripped off.

  • Decided to go gluten-free 3 days before Thanksgiving. Winner!

Anyway, there is so much to be grateful for. But that's why all 834 of your friends are doing "30 Days of Thanksgiving.". lol.

I too have much to be grateful for. And I am. I'm just not talking about it right now. :-) What are you maybe not grateful for? Or what are you so thankful for? Tell me!

Family and Friend Dynamics Sometimes Suck Super Bad

Saturday, November 23, 2013
Oh the craziness that is family. We all know it. Whether we have one sibling, none or maybe eight, it's all the same. How is that? Oh I know, it's called relationships.

We've had a bit of a lot of crazy in ours lately. But especially today and this past week.

David said to me tonight, "I feel like my family has forgotten about me." He didn't say it in the poor me fashion that is so common, but more matter-of-factly. He went on to mention how we've been surrounded by his, and my family for so long. Now that we/he is down here at Fort Huachuca we are kind of left to fend for ourselves. Although I've been feeling like I've been doing that for awhile. With my friends too.

I really super believe in the following saying:

How true is it?

The other day, the one I just posted about (baby shower/birthday weekend), I had set it up with some good friends of mine to watch the kids and clean my house. I confirmed two days prior and the day of. I dropped my kids off to the friends after attempting to take them to the location of the baby shower to set up and it failed, and promptly got a call about a half hour later asking when someone would be by to pick them up because they had to go to Costco. Scuse? I was super confused. I reread my text messages to make sure I didn't make up what they had said 2 hours previous. I was right.

Then, there was a miracle. Like my friend Jessica always says, there is always a miracle.

My dad showed up to pull/burn weeds. Oh and this is because my crappy neighbors told my other neighbors they were going to call the fire department on me because they were a fire hazard. I told this straight up mean woman that it was very hard for me to do yard work with an 18 month old constantly at my feet. She's a beeyotch. (The neighbor. Not Nevie) Plain and simple. I said in my head, and this is truth and probably really rood, that I hope she dies soon. She is old and crotchety and is really just a Mean Girl.

So anyway, he came to help me and it was seriously timing from God. I know it. Because he showed up RIGHT as I received the text and had called the girl who was at my house. She said, "your dad just showed up." So then I called him and he, being the sweet amazing man he is, said it would be no problem.

All was well. But it was not well for awhile. That was the most insane weekend of my life. Because after that day, the next day was the party. But before "next day" as my kids say, it was previous night. And previous night was spent up with two of my good friends. We were chatting and having a push up contest and being jolly. 2 a.m. was the time that we attempted sleep. And attempted it was because we have a Nevie still. A Nevie who woke up many a time during the morning (yeah 2. a.m. is morning remember?). The sun rose early that day I think.

So, while I absolutely love my family, they all showed up right on time! You may think, 'why is this a bad thing?' It's a bad thing because I was in my pajamas when they showed up. With no makeup on and much to do. I feel like it's maybe kind of a nice thing to do to show up to a party your sister/daughter is hosting a teensy bit early to maybe well, help? Steph, don't tell me this is one of those expectation things because I very much didn't have it in my head that I would have extra help. It only occurred to me that very morning when people were showing up and I still looked like hell. So after throwing on clothes, and some mascara, I sat down and let my sister rub my shoulders (this made up for the non showing up early) while watching friend do my dishes. I apologized later to her because it didn't even register that there I was, literally staring at her doing my dishes.

I can't wait to start my own "The Farm". I know that's not how I should say it, but it's funnier. Have you read Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin? She started a farm, that's what they call it. And it was a group of people who, to put it simply, helped each other. Kind of like the Law of Consecration in modern day. Except in the 70's. I already have plans for my own. I hope you'll come. I call being a midwife! And the party planner! And the restaurant owner! lol. Joking. But serious.

So anyway, I don't know the true point of all of this. I mostly wanted to get a tiny bit of it off my chest. I've just been feeling burdened by the feeling of aloneness even though I'm really not. Maybe one of the lessons I'm supposed to learn is that of reaching out. Reaching out to ask for help. Maybe I'm supposed to learn to rely on the Lord more.

I know one thing my sister mentioned as a very valid point is maybe it's my time to move on. And while I know it's happening, I wasn't prepared for it to happen this early. David and I are going places. Literally. I've been feeling somewhat homeless lately, and like I've said to many of you my friends, is that I am alone in Paulden, and I'm mostly alone here (at Fort Huachuca) because David has school/work alllll day. And for a long time and I don't have friends here. So it's just a lot of aloneness except for my sweet kids who can't quite talk to me about this frustration. lol.

This is not Lisa's pity party. This is Lisa's space to process. Where I get to tell you all my feelings. Anyway, so there you go. Do you feel alone sometimes? Do you wonder why you have family/friends sometimes? just kidding. I would never do that.

Unrelated Topic Items

Friday, November 22, 2013
You know when you read Single Dad Laughing you are reading about his real life. And the people in his life know they may or may not make it onto his blog at one point or another.  Consider this your official notice and warning. 
There's been a significant amount of events lately that are totally blog worthy however I'm trying to let things settle down before I go public with them. Ill let Lady Gaga and my bff Miley keep the headlines for now.
I would like to mention the insanity that was this past weekend. There was craft night, baby shower night, and birthday party day all in a row.
Here's some pictures. I have a beautiful, intuitive, smart, 5 year old. Just the other day we were at the Grand Canyon and we asked all the kids who made the Grand Canyon, the boys thought maybe Grandpa could've made the Grand Canyon but it was Sadie who piped up first and said, "Jesus made it." There's been several moments lately where her thought process is so deep it causes David and I too look at each other like 'where did that come from?'.
So here's pictures because I don't quite have the words right now.

Baby Shower for the lovely Shaundra. It's unfortunate I didn't get the very best picture of her doing a heart on her belly with the most appropriate facial expression ever. Oh man. Good times.


I guess now would be an appropriate time to pimp myself out for all your party needs. The thing is, I'm a cheapskate. I don't do anything expensive. So if you/re looking for super expensive fancy happy stupid, then call someone else. I mean, I could if you have the money to pay for it, but otherwise, I just use what I have and do it so that it's not really crazy. I mean, it seems ridiculous to me to spend so much money on something that you're just gonna tear down. You know?

A 6 Year Old Boy

Sunday, November 17, 2013
BAck in May of this year, you turned 6! It seems it was so long ago. It kind of was. Already 6 months have passed and you've grown so much!

I really feel like Heavenly Father blessed me with you because He knew I needed a sweet one. My friend told me that having a boy first is pretty great because often times they set the tone for the family. I totally get it. You are the one I count on, the peacemaker, the heart.

You are so fantastic with your sisters. You play with them and help them and love them!

As of late, I have asked you to do a lot. Daddy is gone right now at Fort Huachuca and so I've asked you to step up. I 've asked you to help me clean and do chores and also to do little things like lock the door.

Right now you are in the bath with your sisters and I fear this will soon be the last of sibling baths. I hope not because you guys sure have fun in there. You just said you were "concentrating" a.k.a practicing going under water by plugging your nose and your mouth. You and Sadie both.

Also, you are super into Minecraft right now. You and Sadie both. I'm pretty sure you've been playing it all day.

You love your cousins, specifically Shawn. Just last week we took him with us to the Grand Canyon. You guys had a blast playing pretend with the rocks and the cliffs and you sure did a great job getting the bad guys. You guys walked on the rocks that line the paths on the Rim. I'm so glad I took pictures even though you were annoyed with me having my camera out. We went to the IMAX and that was the biggest screen ever! I wish I had a video camera on your face. You moved your neck with the twists and turns. It was adorable.

I love you. I love you more than you know. I feel blessed to have you in my life. You have the sweetest personality and the fiercest temper. Just like me! It doesn't come out a lot but when it does I have to remember that I was exactly like that as a kid. And it makes me love you more. You are going to be so great and I feel lucky to be on this journey with you.

I Was Lying To You

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
I know, I know. It's one of the first rules of... something. To not lie. But I can't help it. It's not my fault.

I know that lying hurts people. I know that it destroys the foundation of trust that a relationship is entirely based on. It doesn't hurt just one person, it hurts many and for this I'm sorry.

But the truth is... the truth is that...we are going to Germany. I think.

David wrote his sponsor several days ago and had some questions to be answered. Finally his sponsor wrote him back and was so nice. The reason he couldn't answer was because he was on some training thing in Poland? What? Anyway, I read said e-mail and it gave me hope for Army. The reasons why I have hope are 1) He sounds like a normal guy 2) he gave us answers 3) he is going to give David information on some peeps (women) who will help me! Yay!!!

We SHOULD be going to Germany even though his orders say Italy. Josh (the cool guy who also said David could call him by his first name, what?) said a lot of acronyms and said he would have the BDE S2 work it out and get it de-conflicted. Fancy.

So we are going to Grafenwoehr. It's like Gryffindor but different. But it's a good way to remember it right? Good job David for coming up with that.

I'd secretly love for you to notice all the surrounding countries. There's a little bit of France, and some Austria, and Denmark, the Netherlands, and we'll still be able to visit Italy! 

Grafenwöhr, Germany to Paris, France: 834 km, 7 hours and 31 minutes. 
Grafenwöhr, Germany to Vienna, Austria: 500 km, 4 hours 45 minutes.
Grafenwöhr, Germany to Venice, Italy: 768 km, 7 hours, 5 minutes. 
Grafenwöhr, Germany to Zurich, Switzerland: 498 km: 4 hours 51 minutes. 

And because I have no idea how far a kilometer is:

There. See. 

Also, the castle that you see in Disneyland? The Sleeping Beauty one?  The real one is in Germany. In the same state we will be in.  Well the one that Walt Disney based it on anyway.  Don't be sad. You can come visit. Well you can visit me, and then we can go see the castle. 

 Have you ever been to Germany? Please tell me everything. Also, don't be alarmed if in a couple of days I'm like 'hey, I lied again'.

Life As An Army Wife: Surviving Army Lodging (IHG) and the DEERS/ID Office

Monday, November 4, 2013
I think I'll start a series. Well, I'll probably just use the term "series" to denote the blogs in which I write about my life in the Army. So far it's proven to be nothing short of cray cray. Again, I did not mean to say that. Another 16 year old term. Oopsy. Actually cray cray is a fun term. I'll keep using it. Okay, so here's a run down of my day.

It started early. We are in a room on post. It's actually a really nice room in comparison to other hotels. It's 2 rooms, has 2 flat screen TV's, a desk, a fridge, a microwave, 2 closets, and lots of other storage space. It really is so nice. Anyway, even with all of the space, we have 5 people in our family which is proving to be interesting as far as sleeping arrangements go.

David had a PT test today and came back to shower. It was like 6 a.m. Nevie woke up. Thus began our day.

So we leisurely got ready for the day. I tried to get everyone out the door by 9 to get to the continental breakfast. Neh. That didn't work.

We headed up to the gas station that has a bakery attached to it. We bought croissants and cinnamon rolls and breakfast sandwiches like any good mom would. They ended up all over the floor and all over our clothes. Yes, our.

Then we headed to the DEERS office to get me an ID card. It's very frustrating to me because according to the website, you don't need an appointment for a DD Form 1172-2. The website wasn't allowing me to make an appointment so I assumed it was correct. We headed to the office where I had to carry Nevie in the stroller up the stairs whereupon I was greeted by a sign that said something like, "You don't need an appointment if you have a DD Form 1172-2 (FOR HOUSING)". What? So then we go sit down in the waiting room and the TV with information on it said something like "You need an appointment regardless of what you are here for. Disregard all the other information we have lied to you about. We just wanted to test you." No it didn't say that. But basically it said we had to go see Mr. Someone in room 6 for an appointment. So we went on over and saw Mr. Guy and he gave us an appointment for 15 minutes later. We walked back to the waiting room and barely sat down before we were called back. Hueff. That's what my kids say instead of Phew! I think I was sweating by this time. Just kidding. Ladies don't sweat.

So I got my ID. And it's a fugly picture. I'm going back for a different one. It's REALLY bad. I almost want to post a picture but it's so gross. You'd vomit in your mouth. I think they should let us take our own pictures. There'd be an incredible amount of hold-the-phone-up-high-above selfies. And probably peace signs. At least everyone would be pretty and happy with their pictures. And they'd all be properly filtered, as in, cross-processed or my personal favorite, Nashville (from Instagram).

We went on over to the commissary. CLOSED on Mondays. Yup. Found that out after getting everyone out of the van. Bleh.

Here's the really fun part. We went back to the hotel and I headed to the front desk to get a copy of the key that I lost/didn't have/david may have taken. There I was told I couldn't get a copy because David didn't list me as a guest. Don't worry though, there were notes stating that he has 3 kids. But no wife. I find it rood. Just kidding. So there I am, standing there with two forms of ID with the same last name, telling them I have an 18 month old who REALLY needs a nap and they still tell me no. You would be pleased to know that I was very kind. I believe that being nice gets you further in life. Anyway, they told me they had to speak with David.

I sat in the van with my 3 kids. Waiting. I may have texted David a couple of bad words. Can't confirm or deny that though. It didn't take long. But in the process of waiting, Nevie tipped over a cup of water that was sitting on the dashboard. It was a large cup of water and there were lots of papers on that dash. That's fine, we can move past that.

It was this that really got me. After getting the key, I was driving back to where our room was and my Venti Starbucks White Mocha/Mocha Chocolate Milk fell out of its place. Onto the passengers side floor. No big deal right? It had a lid on it. Well I picked it up and there was a giant huge gaping crack in the cup. A freakin' CRACK!!! So it went everywhere. All over my dry-clean only petticoat, my very light colored tan jacket, the scrapbook paper I purchased per sheet from a craft store and my gossip magazines. I immediately started crying at that point. Couldn't help it.

Walked back into the room without having to insert the key because lo and behold! The cleaning lady was there! I'm sure she thought I was some hot mess and felt really bad for me because she so graciously put on giant yellow gloves to remove Nevie's shatty diaper from my hands.

By this time it was 10:00 a.m. Yup. That's right 10 AM! And it only gets better.

Thankfully, David came to the rescue. I think the Lord knows us because he came home on a long lunch (the first one he's ever had, he said) with another Starbucks, Sour Patch Kids and a pizza for lunch. I'm thankful.

It is November and it seems everyone's on the gratitude bandwagon. I really am too and I know it's seeming as if that isn't the case. These things just make for much better reading than, "I have the best husband in the world and he's better than yours" you know?

I wish you better luck with your experiences at DEERS and IHG and with your Starbucks.

Fort Huachuca and Sierra Vista Have Nice Places

Sunday, November 3, 2013
The first thing we did when I got to Fort Huachuca? We left and went to Target. Just kidding. We went to an obnoxiously loud Buffalo Wild Wings (per Jacksons request) where we promptly ordered fried pickles and boneless wings. Totes healthy. Did I really just write "totes"? Please don't tell anyone. Or if you do, tell them I'm 16. Cause they are the only people allowed to say things like that. Anyway, so Target.
After I jumped back in the car, literally (if you've ever been a guest in our car while we are driving, you know what i'm talking about), I asked David if he remembered me asking him whether or not they had the cool carts. He remembered me asking but forgot to check. Well they do. David said, "I feel like they belong in the world of the Jetsons." They are very futuristic and also ergonomic.
So then we came back to the hotel/home, got cookies from the front desk and went to sleep. Or something.
The next day we drove around a bit. There is actually civilization down in this part of the world. Where we are is about an hour and a half from Tucson, reallllllly close to the border. There's one of those blimps in the sky that looks for illegals. Classy. They have good amenities though, the most important being the aforementioned Target, also there's Hastings and Cold Stone Creamery. There is a supposed mall but I have not yet been there so I cannot confirm the existence of said mall.
We spent most of the day at McDonalds where we participated in family reading day or something (I just found this link!). They gave out propaganda, information in the form a brochure encouraging us to be better parents and to make sure our kids can read and to make sure we check out this government website. The mayor read some books to the kids but I didn't get to see that because Nevie was crying loudly over not being allowed to run people over while dragging the high chair on wheels through the crowd. Apparently the people in charge were very impressed with Jacksons choice of a solar system book. They wanted to give him extra books because of it. Yeah. We win. Anyway, we spent the rest of the day looking at overpriced cars at dealerships. We have to get a different vehicular because apparently the army won't ship cars that are not in great condition. I guess that means our Corolla doesn't qualify and neither does our Chevy. Sad day. We are not going to buy from a dealer because that's expensive. We wanted to see what the options are for European friendly cars. Then I found this German car selling site and I found out there are all versions of cars there. Which makes sense. I was concerned okay? I mean, it seems like the roads there would be smaller. But apparently they have a great road system in Germany.
Did I forget to tell you that we might be going there instead of Italy? What? I know right? It's so confusing. I don't even know yet so I don't want to say anything till we hear back for sure from David's sponsor who hasn't e-mailed him back in like a week. It's rood. Did you know there are such things as sponsors? I didn't. This is all information that I wish someone would tell or would have told me. I want to create a course for military people who are new to the Army world. It's all very crazy. Military Life 101. Or somesing.
Anyway, everything closes REALLY early down here including my brain. Like 9 p.m. early. It's kind of lame. I mean, who doesn't want to get ice cream after 9? Or who doesn't want Starbucks after 9? I mean 2100. Bleh. I'm never gonna get used to military time. I'm also not sure I'm going to get used to men in uniform everywhere. Oh wait, I could get used to that. Just kidding. What do you wish you would have known about military life? OR even in real life?