Sunday, February 20, 2022

black and white photo of the Intercontinental hotel in Cannes France

It's actually spoken "niece", at least when it comes to the city located in the French Riviera where I traveled all alone four years ago to the day.  

I left mid afternoon on a Thursday so David could stay with the kids while I went on a solo trip, partially to trudge through some thickly complicated thoughts and feelings. Him and I had a pretty big thing the week before centered around opinions and values on drugs/alcohol/etc. I wasn't even going to write about this part of the story but I just found some screenshots from our text exchange while I was browsing photos for this post.

The timing is curious as 4 years later we are discussing some of the same things, and more, which are down the line of morality for most. It's haunting to read the words, "Well we would have been divorced a long time ago" with where we are now. I don't know where that is, but it feels like it might be close to that. Am I actually going to post this on the internet? What is the most surprising is how my thoughts haven't changed much since then haha. 

Everything else in life feels fuzzy and grey yet this space (this blog) feels like home. Social media platforms come and go and in fact, I think we are in the middle of yet another transition where Facebook will be what MySpace is now -- pretty much obsolete because hello Metaverse. I could be very wrong lol but I sort of don't think I am, or will be ha. The one thing that has remained over the last decade plus is my home here on Her Five Cents. I currently write on Medium and on Instagram (via captions) and post on TikTok yet still feel the call to be here too. I don't currently have Facebook or Instagram on my phone (I know) and again, social media is evolving. 

Anyway, my initial reason for wanting to share some of my pics from this trip, and write about it a little is because I fuckin' drove to Nice, France from my home in Vicenza, Italy. It was about 6ish hours, and I drove through the top part of the boot of Italy into the southern coastal part of France. Remember, those countries don't speak English, and I was solo in my big American SUV lol. I think this was the first (and only) biggish trip alone in Europe. I didn't have friends or know anyone who spoke the same language as me where I was going. Exciting and terrifying

I have completed what feels like 392 trips back and forth from Arizona to Colorado to Utah since then, mostly solo, so it doesn't feel like a big deal to be alone in the travel sense, but I remember the feeling of solo activity hitting me on the rainy drive through Europe that Thursday afternoon. 

That feeling of aloneness is familiar.

I consider myself extremely lucky when it comes to wandering the world. I am seriously so blessed when it comes to being in the right place at the right time for shit in terms of travel. Turns out, the Nice Carnival was beginning the weekend I happened to be there. I had no idea until I found a pamphlet about it in the room I got at the most adorable Airbnb. lol. How lucky am I? 

According to Wikipedia, "The earliest records establish its existence in 1294 when the Count of ProvenceCharles Anjou, wrote that he had passed "the joyous days of carnival."[1] This may make the Nice Carnival the original carnival celebration." 

My host was a gem. She had the cutest little place and the cutest little kitty. She spoke hardly any English but was most kind in attempting communication with me. I loved that it was just the two of us and her fur baby. I felt less alone after. I wonder how she is doing.

I did things on this trip a lot of people will only dream about. I took a perfumery class and made my own fragrance, I went to the beach and walked solo on the coast of France, talked to strangers (as best as possible) in bakeries and basked in the camaraderie that only an annual carnival can bring. I went to Monaco and gambled at the Monte Carlo. On my way home I stumbled upon the Fête du Citron, a big celebration similar to that of their neighboring Nice. Lucky in every way. 

Moral of the story is take what you like and leave the rest. Is that a stretch for this? I mean, I just told you barely anything about a little of everything and yet that's my conclusion? Yes, I think it is. Haha. I'm pretty sure that's the moral of this human experience...take in what feels good and leave the rest behind. Just like with this post 😉.

I love having you here. 

Atrium of Monte Carlo
Inside the atrium at the Monte Carlo

Fancy stuff outside of the Monte Carlo Hotel in Monaco 

Théoule-sur-Mer, France, this was the first time I had seen cacti in awhile! 

At the parade (see pics below), toward the end, they were handing out flowers! So manyyyyy flowers. I made two bouquets. 

Ahhhhh! The art! The beauty! Obsessed. 

So many political floats at the parade the first night I was there. This is just one of many. Ha

Fragrance making! 

Click for more info on the Fete du Citron. This one deserves its own post. I'll do that eventually which means probably never. lol. 

One of the very few selfies I took. Ragrets I didn't take more. Ha. 

Thursday, February 10, 2022

Photo of the Salt River in AZ. Taken by me

Ahhhhhhh... This feels like home y'all! I've fought myself over it but this IS the place for me. I've been blogging over at Medium, and in my journals on actual paper (say what?). It's time to focus my effort here for now. As you can see, I've made a few changes and will continue to make a few more as I go.  

I'm writing this post mostly for myself. And for the AdSense people who, when going over my blog for monetization, discovered they had no idea what the eff this place is about. I get it Adsense friends, I do. As you can see, I haven't posted anything since 2018. Just like most of us, life got and continues to get real crazy especially with Rona.  


Here's what to expect moving forward: 

  • Writing/Blogs on 
    • kids/motherhood
    • unschooling/worldschooling
    • relationships
    •  spirituality
    • cryptocurrency/blockchain/NFT's (I'm learning so much about this right now)
    • creative endeavors
    • nature
    • And lots of photograpy. I take way too many pictures I do nothing with. Lame.
Those will be my main focus.

In development: 

  • A T-shirt collective. If you'd like to be a part of it, let me know. There are three levels of participation available. Please hit me up if you want in. So fun. 
  • Courses on starting your own crypto/nft journey. 
Okay! So here we go! Thanks again for being here! Let's be friends! 

Let's stay in touch!

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Monday, April 1, 2019

Dear Faye,

I can't believe I haven't done your yearly letter. I feel like I did and now I have to go find it. It's also likely I didn't. Yeah. I didn't because I wrote Jacksons in October. lol. Sorry! 

I don't know if I should write this as if it was November of last year or the March that it really is. I think I'll go with the latter.

You've grown so much in the past 6 months. That's about how long it's been since you turned the big double digit One Oh! 10! I can't believe it.

You came into this world when you wanted to and I have a feeling that's the theme of your life. All in your own time... I've only recently learned to allow space for that. There's no sense in trying to rush you or push you into doing things you neither want to do or are comfortable with. And that's totally okay.

Although, we did push you a little bit with going to public school for the first time. Thankfully you were given an excellent teacher and that coupled with your insane ability to adapt, you've completely thrived. Unlike I've ever seen before. I still can't even wrap my mind around the fact that not only do you go to school but you want to! Say what? Around your birthday 6 months ago, it was like pulling teeth to get you to complete one lesson! Now you stay up late to complete lessons on Zearn all because you want to. Last night we tried to get you NOT to do some and to instead go to sleep but you were determined to finish that last little bit. I crazy admire your determination in all the ways even if it makes me feel nutty sometimes. lol.

You continue to be artistic. I think you might academically be like me in the sense that you do well because you work hard. And then you have this creative side that you don't even have to try for. I wish I would have pursued my own creativity as a younger one which is what I am hopefully going to help you do. You are a tried-and-true artist. I find your sketches and works strewn throughout the house and I'm always amazed. Maybe I shouldn't be anymore but you're SO GOOD! I'm not even just saying that because I'm your mom. A person can look at your handwriting and see that you're an artist. I love the little flourishes you add to your y's or your g's. Your writing is much better than a lot of adults I know, including your dad. Just kidding. His is pretty good.

You're a great friend. You're kind and fun and people are drawn to you. I wonder if we will always remember the one and only 3 girl sleepover we had. It was with 2 girls from school and both were vying for your attention and you were left in this awful spot of being in the middle. I never want that for you because you were born in the middle. Why add extra stress? :-)

I adore you my little middle child. I love you so much my heart hurts about it. You're amazing and I always always always hope you remember that. Like you are fundamentally good. You don't have to do or be or say anything to make it that way. You just are.

Remember who you are, where you came from, and who loves you.