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Burning Eyes and a Burning Belly

Tuesday, September 30, 2008
It's time for her to come. Except I don't want her to. Today was a bad one for pain. I could hardly walk and my tummy felt tight all day. Is that normal? I guess normal is relative... even for pregnancy. Does anyone want to send me their baby stuff? K thanks.

I'm tired. Why do I complain so much? I don't know.

I won't complain about the Carmel Apple Spice from Starbucks. Yum. It's cider. And it's delicious. My friend Maria got me into it after convincing me to stop drinking Frappacinos. I still love those too. Go try the cider. You will love your life.

Jackson officially throws tantrums now. It started today when he got mad at the Barbie car. He was SO mad. He bit it and threw it and hit it. He was mad because it wouldn't do what he wanted it to do. Then he got mad about something else except I can't remember. All I remember hearing is that growl from his mouth. I wonder where he gets his impatience/stubbornness from. Hmmm? I couldn't get mad. In fact, I laughed and I think that made him more mad. THEN we were out to eat with Mike and Kristi and he did the arched back, throwing his head back thing. Oh boy. I don't know if I am going to make it through these years. I really really really have a low tolerance for that type of stuff. No patience either. Wish me luck.

On the other hand, he is freaking adorable. His favorite word of the day today was 'baby'. I know it's not even fun for readers of el blog to hear about this stuff, it's more for my own journaling purposes. Still I appreciate the "awwws" and "how cute" comments I receive. Anyway, my other happy thing is when he says "I" then I(we) say "love" and he says "Deeeewwwwww" all drawn out and cute. Oh gosh. Love it.

I love craigslist. I'm going to browse now. I also love everyone.

When it Rains it Pours

Thursday, September 25, 2008
So... I don't think I can handle life anymore. I know...another depressing sob story.

I keep thinking that today is the worst day ever, everyday. It's such a negative outlook right? I have to change that.

Today was officially the worst day though. It's one of those days you remember forever and even talk about for forever.

We all slept horrible. I thank Kristi and Mike for letting us stay at their house, but I condemn their neighbors who have the roosters that crow (do roosters crow?) at 5 in the a.m.. I love my hubby because he rattles the roosters in the tree and they flail and squak and it makes me happy. Anyway, there was also a cricket IN the wall that was singing me a goodnight lullaby for a loooong time.

Then the morning came rather quickly. The morning events consisted of a trip to Food City for el Pato and milk (perfect place to go huh?). It would have been a successful trip had I not lost my cell phone on the way. It was sitting on top of the car and we are all pretty sure the mexicans who congregate at the end of the road hoping for illegal under the table work, stole it. It was our first stop after leaving Kristis house and I'm sure the braking caused it to fall off. So now there is a hispanic man out there with a pink Venus phone. I know it's true because David said they tried to make 16 calls. They also mistakenly called Kristi's sister. Blah. I hate them.

Since I didn't have a phone, I went on my way to Jacksons docs appointment. Oooh, thank you to Kristi for giving him a big boy haircut. He looks freaking adorable. OMG. Love it. Anyway, we got to the doctor and my little boy had to have 5 effing shots. I had to hold down his arms. I lost it. He looked at me with pleading eyes and tears and I just couldn't handle it. I snuggled him good. He was SO amazing afterwards though. He gets the award for being The Best Baby After Shots.

Mmmkay so I didn't have my keys because they were lost (at least to me). So I drove to my sisters work hoping to get hers. She wasn't there. I drove home to see if someone was home. They weren't. I decided to go to Verizon to see about getting a new phone and guess what happened? You won't even be able to.

I got in an accident. Completely my fault. I call it a medium fender-bender because my cars' damage is pretty bad. Jackson and I are fine and so are the other people. Their truck is actually fine as well. They had a Ford F-250. Blah. I was crying hysterically. I really didn't think the day could get any worse. It totally did. I didn't have a phone, and I only knew two numbers. I called Steph and I called David. I knew David couldnt' do anything because he was in training and Steph didn't answer her phone for awhile. I was stranded in million degree weather with nothing but a broken car and no phone.

I count my blessings though. Steph did call back and she came and rescued me with root beer and an air-conditioned car. I love her for that. I'm sorry to her that her car has to smell like Italian food. I'm thankful to her for the Vanilla Bean Frappacino as well.

I'm thankful for David. He is the best and most wonderful man I could ever ask for. He didn't even ask questions, he just hugged me and loved me and soothed me. I love him. I'm pretty sure he is the rock that keeps me here on earth. Otherwise I might be flying....... off a mountain. Jk people. I'm not suicidal.

I'm thankful for Jackson. He was SO amazing today. He didn't cry at all (except for shots). We drove a TON and usually he gets a little cranky. He was an angel and was actually laughing when I was crying. I think that's what he thought I was doing. He gave me kisses all day and called me "dee-sa". Yes. It's Lisa and Daddy. Really funny.

I'm thankful for Kristi and Mike and Shayna and Kyrbi. Whenever I'm there, they ALWAYS take care of me and Jackson. Seriously. It's like a vacation at their house (except when Jackson gets into things and hurts Londyn). Otherwise, it's fantastic... even when Kristi almost knocks Jackson out and her daughter body slams him. lol.

I do have many things to be thankful for. Thanks for reading my sob story and my award speech. Don't feel sad for me. Just send me money. jk. But not really.

Mmmmm

Monday, September 22, 2008
About a week ago, baby girl had the hiccups for the first time (that I felt and noticed). It was super cute.

I am going to post some pictures from my phone because that's all I have right now. Thanks for judging.


The other night we went to Dana Park in Gilbert for its grand opening. It was super fun. I would like everyone to take notice of Jacksons fantastic outfit in the picture below. Daddy dressed him. It's a yellow shirt, blue shorts, a red shoe AND a black/blue shoe. I know right? i love my boys. Lee Lee got her face painted. She had a crown with jewels on it!

I was trying to clean the room and Jackson would not have it. He loves "helping" fold laundry. And by that I mean he likes to throw it everywhere. It's cute.
Okay. That's all for now. I am too tired or something to write anymore.

I used to love Bologna sandwiches. And Fish Sticks

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Yes. I kind of want bologna right now. Does anyone else say in their head "bo-log-na" when they spell that word? I just looked it up and found out you can spell it "baloney" too.

I haven't had baloney or fish sticks since I was ten. I want both. I stopped eating fish sticks (with tartar sauce) when I found out they were fish. I know right?

Do you ever feel like your day just can't get any worse? That's mine today. My oh-so-sweet little boy has hit his head about 6 different times on various places in the room I am in. I can't take it. He has also dumped out a box of staples, a canister of CD's, and my makeup bag.

When I was making macaroni earlier, I dropped everything on the floor. This wouldn't be so bad except that I CAN'T BEND DOWN! I can, it's just very uncomfortable. I seriously dropped probably a quarter of the pan of noodles (only one at a time though), on the floor. I'm so irritated with this day and want it to be over right this second.

I put him to bed. Finally some peace and quiet. At least for a little while.

I had a dream that I saw my dad and Jesus. It was in a strange surrounding though. Everyone was in a gym playing soccer. We were on the sidelines in a corner. Neither one of them spoke any words to me. I asked each of them to hold me. And they did.

My dreams as a pregnant lady are either SUPER vivid (as in details), or sexual. I like it. lol.

I have decided that the reason things are so hard right now is because I am not being a good one. I definately have to work on some stuff in order to receive the blessings we so desperately need right now. It's hard to want to work at anything when all I feel is negativity.

I'm going to eat. Again.

Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

Friday, September 12, 2008
I have a few of my own though. I think it's time for me to get them out there. Maybe in a general sort of way. I hate when I'm in these serious moods. It's not fun to read.

Today was a busy day. I'm way too tired to do it again. I can't believe how much IKEA can actually wear a person out. That and a 15 month old. and a 4 year old.

So it's weird that sometimes people who don't even care about you, want to know about you and your life so they read your blogs. I've done it before. I put myself out there so I guess it's public property or something. It's strange though. I stopped reading those peoples blogs when I realized it was a waste of my energy.

I also think it's funny when people's husbands are super creepy.

Uh oh. I can see this turning into a hate blog.

Oooh. Can I just say one thing that makes me more rageful than re-sellers on craigslist and at yard sales? It's the people who flip me (or David) off. We have been flipped off at least 5 times since we have been here. Today it happened twice. I was sitting at a red stoplight of a freeway exit waiting to turn right. The idiot, I mean person, ahead of me was just sitting there. There were NO cars coming. If I remember my driving rules correctly one is able to turn if they have yielded to oncoming traffic. Well I decided to wait a minute before honking to remind him (politely) that he could turn. I waited that minute and gave a light tap on my horn. Just then it turned green and he went, and so did his finger. It was not a good time. I think I actually flipped him off too. It gives me this feeling in my heart of intense anger and hatefulness. I can't explain it.

UGH!

I have so many things that I would love for the public to know, but I am afraid of saying for some reason. Does anyone else have that?

This is from yesterday.

Terrorism

Thursday, September 11, 2008
It's September 11th. I remember where I was when I found out about it all. Do you? We were in seminary and David came in at the end and announced what had happened. It was shocking! I went to school and no one was even in the hallways. Everyone was in a classroom watching the news. What a day in history!

I also have terrorism in my own life. It's my little boy named Jackson. Today has already uncovered many adventures. Keep in mind when you read the following that I live at my sisters house right now. Their place is immaculate.

We were downstairs enjoying some breakfast. Jackson had already dumped his bird cheerios everywhere (thats what Em calls Fruit Loops). So we are chillin' and he's eating off the floor and I'm happy. He wanders over to the corner where my sis has an empty potted plant container where the remnants of the huge tree she killed lay. This container is super cool and has wheels! Jackson loves wheels. I figured it would be fine for him to push it around since it was just his size.
Well, he pushes it over to where I am and proceeds to tip it over. Not a big deal right? Well it is because there is leftover water and soil that came pouring out. I run over to the closet to get a mop (which they don't own), and hear Jackson bawling. He slipped and fell backwards, hit his head too. So I have a floor and a child covered in soil water and I actually thought about what to do first (I'm a good mom like that). Clean the floor or him? I chose the latter.

Everything worked out fine. I'm sure he will be messed up for life. He fell of the bed last night and has bruises from that incident too. I hope he's normal. Probably not since he IS my son.

Soccer Ball Baby

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Does anyone else get those weekly e-mails about how far along they are in pregnancy? Oh, maybe it's just me. And the other ladies that are preggo too.

Well today I am 31 weeks. Yay! My baby is the size of a soccer ball. I think they are lying though. I don't think my belly is THAT huge. It probably is and I am just in denial about it all.

I totally didn't keep track of important growths in my pregnancy with Jackson so I wanted to document a few things about this one. It's totally going to be boring for anyone that is not me. but I don't care because I don't keep any other journal except this one.

At about 22 weeks I started having Braxton-Hicks.

About 30 weeks is when I started feeliing REALLY pregnant. Like not being able to bend over to pick up stuff from a sitting position.

This week I started to not be able to breathe. The nasal blockage is setting in.

I failed my glucose screen.

I got the shot in my butt for my special blood type. O-. That was last Friday.

Limbs started to protrude last week. Her is a mover. I'm glad.

I am hungry every 30 minutes. Literally. That is no exaggeration.

I saw a picture of myself and I am a blob already. Ew.

I DON'T have swankles. YET! Please pray for me not to.

That's all. So far. How boring huh? I don't care.

Does anyone even think it's super wonderful that Jackson is walking? He started to walk on the 15th of August...ish. He is so cute. I love him.

I'm going to eat fruit loops.

Blood Work

Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I'm semi grumpy right now. I don't wanna be. But I am. I feel like I am always in a bad (or sarcastic) mood when I decide to write blogs. I had about 14 posts to catch up on and the only one that made me feel slightly good about my grumpiness was the one from Audrey. And she even ate comfort food to deal with her unsuccessful day. I'm glad I'm not alone.

So the other day I had to get some blood work done for el bebe. I had to choose a lab to have my paperwork faxed to so I chose the one closest to my sisters house. Little did I know, it was the most ghetto one ever. Seriously. So I go in and it's completely silent and filled to the max with people. Awkward. I wait and wait and wait and finally get called. I get my sugar juice and had to wait one more hour. I was so thankful for that 50mg bottle of fruit punch flavored glucose (or whatever it is), because I was STARVING. You have to go fasting you know... so anyway. It made my spirits lift high, actually my blood sugar, because I failed.

During that time, I had the opportunity to watch quite a few people. There was Lucy, the 60-something black woman who was just the way you stereotype someone with that description. She was a little loud, really cute, and happy to be alive. She told the entire room full of people about her 6 children and how one of them is getting her PhD in business. Loved her.

Then there was the other old lady who sat by the check-in window blocking any sort of direct contact with the secretary due to her walker/wheelchair in front of her. She sat and chatted away on her cell phone ignoring the distinct signs ALL over the walls saying, "Please step outside to use cell phones". I think old women are immune to any sort of "rule".

What I also found fascinating was the color of the sticky tape they use to wrap around the arms of their victims (it is a blood lab). I know when I used to donate blood to United Blood Services you had the choice of all sorts of colors. Neons, pastels, neutrals ,etc... Well here, everyone came out wearing the same brownish/tanish color. It blended well with the color of most of the clients skin. I'm not saying anything here... okay yes I am. I'm saying that most of the people coming in and out were Mexican or Black (African American?). So then I go in, and come out with what color? CLEAR! You got it. They don't have a color to match my whiteness so I get the next best thing. Clear. How funny is that? I thought it was not only ironic, but really hilarious. If I came out with that same brown, I might be laughed at. I guess that's what they thought anyway.

I'm super tired.

Today was my first day alone with Jackson. David started his fancy U of P job. He likes it mucho. They gave him this classy leather folder thing too. I love free stuff. I spend most of the day sweating and eating (does this surprise anyone?). I am mostly mad about the sweating. My efficient sister and her husband like to keep the thermostat at 90 degrees. It was fabulous. So I went naked most of the day too. Just kidding. Well kind of.

I think that's all. I took some herbal medicine to help me sleep. Not the illegal kind. Although I wish I had some of that sometimes... Just kidding. Well kind of.

I Am Not a Republican

Monday, September 1, 2008
Nor am I a Democrat. I am not a Libertarian or a Constitutionalist. I am a registered Independent although I don't consider myself that either. Why must I "declare" my political beliefs to anyone? Why must I be defined by anything but what I actually am?

There are a few things I am regardless of what I say or think or do. I am a female. I am Caucasian. I am 24 years old. I have red hair. And that's about all. Okay, there are probably a few more things I could say but you get the gist.

I wouldn't even say that I am "Mormon". I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints although my beliefs are constantly changing. So does that make me a true member?

Without realizing it, each of us chooses who we are on a daily basis. We decide who we want to be based on circumstances. Last night we discussed gay marriage and I didn't say a word. I thought for sure I knew what I thought but hearing each side made me reconsider my original notions.

Members of churches (specifically Mormon ones), are constantly changing their beliefs. I include myself when I say this because I do it myself. I know a few who drink and still attend church every Sunday. I know a few more who don't go to church but still follow all the commandments. I realize these things occur because none of us are perfect. I guess my point is that we are always changing.

It wouldn't be so fun if we were all the same all the time. Unless we were all robots, it wouldn't even be possible.

One thing I know for sure is that I hate people who try to make my perception the same as theirs. It's all around us. The whole political debates and stuff... not my thing. I don't hate Obama. I don't like him either. I'm not a big fan of McCain but I don't hate him either. I think that's why I don't care to listen to 13 hour programs on TV about the election. Don't worry, I do care about some of it, just not all of it.

I also hate the religious pushers. I was reflecting on an experience I had with Jaime Jina and her hubby. We were at the mall and Jaime and I happened to be sitting in the self-help slash religious section of books. It was a smaller isle that only had one way in and one way out. We were having our OWN conversation to which Jaime said to me, "I have about a 100 New Testaments." The creeper leaning against the edge of the bookshelf chimed in and asked her why. What the...? When did he get invited in? He proceeded to tell us all about this convention that was going on, invited us, and also questioned us about our religious views. Jaime left me with him (I know right?) and he again grilled me. I told him I was a member of the LDS church and boy did he have a lot to say about that, none of which was good. I'm not a basher (sorry Holdaway), so I didn't really get into it with him. I did express my tidbits of testimony here and there so I was semi-proud. I finally got out and was so glad about it. I never want to be that person. He was so icky. He totally was there just to do that to people. He continued to walk back and forth by that isle. Thank goodness for Jaime's hubby who went back and gave him a piece of his mind about the matter. I hope people kept their children away from him. I totally think he was that kind.

So, this is a mixed post eh? I'm not really sure of my overall point, and I'm not even sure all of it made sense but I have been thinking about it a lot. I don't even have a good last line for this one so I am just going to end it.

Right now. What do you think?