Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I'm NOT talking about Thanksgiving. I'm sick of that crap. Just kidding. But really? Aren't you sort of tired of hearing about turkey and thankfulness? Not that I am not all about that, but I'll save it for another time.  For now, thanks to my new friend, I've decided to discuss a different topic common amongst us.

Sunday mornings.

Oh yes. it was one of those. One where I was so angry, and pretty much for no good reason. I haven't been enjoying church lately. Neither has David. Don't tell him I told you. Well, one Sunday afternoon he was helping some family paint their house. They were on a time crunch and it needed to be done. On the Sabbath. So they were there. Painting. And listening to general conference. David heard someone (a general authority) say that attending church is not always about what you get out of it, but what you can give and what you can offer.

It totally changed his perspective. And mine. At least for now.

But it didn't stop me from being angry on this Sabbath morn. Let's talk about Sadie.

She wouldn't wear anything but what she wanted to wear. Up until this point, she hadn't been super picky about clothing. So why did she have to pick a Sunday to start this up?

This is what she HAD to wear. Not her cute polka dot dress, or even the brand new (with tags) one that Grandma just gave her for her birthday. It was this:

You can't really tell, but that's a Dora the Explorer pajama top. And the velvet overcoat thing from her cute new above-mentioned dress. At least it sort of matched. And we got tights and shoes on her. Whoop! Oh, thank you grandma for this sweet little petticoat/tutu that she wore to bed and all the next day. Yes, thanks for that. :-)

Also, if you wanna talk about her holding the toilet bowl cleaner, go ahead. Because I have no answers/reasons/justifications for that. All I know is that she loves the toilet. They have a special bond. I could have chosen another pictures i have of her WITHOUT the scrubber but I was seriously laughing out loud when I re-saw this picture in my phone. I thought you might enjoy it too.

The other part of my bad mood came from the fact that I hate all my church clothes. I should've worn my own tutu.

That, and I hate my church bag. It's so.... gigantic. Why can't I get out the door with a purse and some snacks? Why do I have to have trains, and books, and scriptures, and candy, and papers, and lesson manuals, and other "essential" items? And HOW does it end up ALL OVER the building?

So I need my own bag for all this crap. Cause it's a lot. I also need my purse for chapstick and gum. And of course I can't put that in the church bag because then I'll forget to move it back to my purse and end up really really angry when I'm at work and don't have my lip gloss. I know right? DRAMA!

At least I have a new pink (mostly free) Victoria's Secret bag that I scored from waiting in line at midnight on Black Friday amidst an angry and somewhat volatile crowd. It's really great. And Bedazzled. Do you think that would fly at Mormon church? Cause I'm seriously considering it.

***Disclaimer: above mentioned image contains models, not people. Just kidding. Mostly***

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Potty Training.

Do I need to say more? Listen, I really have to. So Jackson, he's been doing great with the whole peeing thing. Even in the middle of the night he will wake up and  tell us he has to go. Except for last night. But that's aside the point. Yesterday is the real story.

I came out from my bedroom. And I smelled something. I immediately looked to my right. And there was Jackson standing with his legs apart, a small puddle at his feet. And the smell. I can't forget that smell.

And basically from that point on, there was endless poop. Poop everywhere. I told him to lay down. I took the pants and the panties and the shoes and socks off. And anytime they moved, the poop moved. all over.

It was on my shirt
On my fingers
It was on the bottom of my foot
It was tracked throughout the house.

Don't forget the smell.

I seriously wanted to die. I think I said a few choice words that were later repeated. By Jackson. Don't worry, I won't do that again. Because the time will come when he will say those in front of Dad, or the bishop (who is his Grandpa) and I am pretty sure they will all look at me. And I don't want that on my shoulders.

Eventually the poop got cleaned up. It took probably 3 rolls of toilet paper, 2 washrags, and lots of dry heaves.

This was written awhile ago and still no successful poops in the potty. He knows now to get toilet paper and pick it up himself. It's sort of hilarious. Why doesn't he get it? I need your tips. All the tips in the world for potty training this boy. I was thinking that maybe it was because he is, in fact a boy and they stand up to pee. not sit down. Could that be it? Or is my child the exception to every rule?

While you're at it, could you share your tips for potty training a girl? My girl specifically? She is VERY smart. but she is also very tiny and I don't want her to fall into the abyss of the toilet.

Potty training posts have always made me laugh. And now I have my own. Good times.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

On Friday David was sworn into the Army for 3.5 years. I'm not even sure I said that right. But anyway, it's sort of a crazy thing. And tonight I am feeling sort of solemn about it.

If you know David, you are probably shocked.  You see, David has a free spirit. He usually does the opposite of what he is asked/told to do. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just who he is. Always has been. So following orders from a Captain, or "higher ups" doesn't seem to fit him. But it does!

This is a bragging blogger post. I apologize. It's just as much about him as it is about me. He is getting an "A" in a 6 credit hour Chinese class. He studies for hours a day. And he speaks/writes SO well because of it. It's sort of strange to hear him talk because it's so beautiful. It's almost like singing. Sometimes I'm not sure it's even him talking because it's so different, so flowy, so amazing!

In the Army, he is also well respected. He is many years older than most of the other cadets yet he outruns most of them! They once said it was because he has to chase his kids around all day! lol. His captain and the guy above him (I don't know his rank) have gone out of their way to help him and our family out. But that is another post for another time.

This post originally started as a recap of Sadies birthday, but I've run out of time. I love my hubby very much and someday when he reads this, I hope he knows that! Sorry it's so mushy but I just can't help it!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Did you know that your name fits you? And that you have a lot of secret names as well? "Sadie Lynn Faye yo, Marie Ann Kay Jo." Or "sissy", or "naughty one".

I was awake last night at 1 a.m. and thought about how 2 years ago almost to the hour (you were born at 2 something), you came into this world. VERY quickly. I was sitting mostly naked in the living room (wearing only fur jacket and underwear), talking to Dad and your aunt Chelsi who was on the phone with Grandma Menlove. I looked at the clock. It read 10:27 p.m. and BAM contractions started. I knew then, that it was time to go. I wish you could have seen the chaos. Luckily Grandma was on the phone because she was able to relay the information quickly. Dad was really cute the way he tried so calmly to get everything ready. He wanted to move the car, and get me into it and help me dress, etc. I remember standing in the bathroom depserately looking for someone to help me put on my freaking pants. I walked out the door with a belly sweatshirt and sweatpants on.

4 hours later! You were here! Here on this earth. Ready to cause all sorts of trouble. As of late, your favorite thing to do is draw on the couches. And on your body. Preferably with permanent marker. But pens and highlighters do the trick just fine. I try so hard not to be mad, because I have a feeling you sort of know what you are doing.  That's the thing. You are SO smart. You only speak words you know so it's pretty easy to understand (minus your sweet little lisp).

Bee Sting

Shoes. You LOVE shoes.
You hate flies. And frightening scenes in movies and books. You shake when they come on. We watched Toy Story 3 the other day and the part with the monkey FREAKED you out. You shook like crazy. I tried so hard not to laugh. There is another book we have (Big and Little) with a mouse and an elephant. The elephant climbs the ladder and is supposed to jump into this glass of water. Oooops.... she slips. SCREEEEEAAAAMMMMM is what you did at that part. It was so scary to you.
You love cars and trains and trucks (an older brother maybe?). At the store you pick balls and moving things over dolls and pretty things any day. BUT you love makeup. Specifically mascara and eyeshadow. People probably think I am a terrible mom for letting you wear Falsies mascara.
I love how you always touch your hair and say, "It's cute" to everyone you see. Mostly dad. And the mirror. It IS cute. YOU are cute. 

My Halloween ladybug

The "cool leg". Your dad has it too. He'll put it up while he's driving even. But I promise you, you ALWAYS put it over your carseat as if to show that you are the boss, and in charge.  A common phrase in our house is now, "No, Dasson" (No Jackson). We here a lot of naughty words too. They are meant to be good ones but just sound SO bad. Jacket, Truck and Talk are the 3 that come to mind. HIL.ARIOUS. What makes it more funny is that they are common words. So sometimes you'll say them, we'll pause, and then laugh because you really are trying to convey something, not just swear up a storm.
I am sorry that today, all I have are cell phone pictures to share. Because you are pretty model-like in your faces. Whether they are happy or sad or cheesy or hilarious... all of them are perfect. Probably because they are you  and you are my daughter. Happy 2nd Birthday! I LOVE YOU!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I saw one today. Which is totally not a big deal BUT this one was on the back of a truck. A VEHICLE people. Who does that? Is that the new thing? I sure hope not. But if it becomes as such, I'm totally getting a butterfly. Or maybe a peace sign. Whatever is most sexy. What do you think? What would you get?

This one was a a silver truck. With a little scribbly design on the back, clearly feminine in nature. So was this girl a macho girl, attempting girliness, or a girly girl, pretending to be macho with her big, bad truck? Hmmm... not so sure. And maybe that was the point.

Speaking of tramp stamps... Sadie drew all over the couch today. For like the millionth time. I swear to you, that girl is a trouble-maker. She will also be 2 years old tomorrow. That's sayin' something right? Anyway, it was in black pen, and permanent marker. How do you tell a 2 year old (who is smart) not to do that anymore, in a way that she will understand and listen to? Is it possible?

I am surrounded by skanky girls. They probably all have tramp stamps. And I bet they have the initials of their boyfriends tattooed on their.... sides. I think that's the new thing too. Tattoos that go all the way up the side of your body. Mmmmm. Sounds SO nice. Oh wait. That sounds more painful than anything. And idiotic.

This girl in front of me, totally played this nice boy for his homework. She so sweetly batted her eyes and asked if she could use his homework for "reference". Him in his glasses, and button-up shirt, so sweetly responded that she could use it as long as it wasn't word for word. I hate her. Now she is flirting with the guy she called her "best friend". Rude! I want to tell on her. The "best friend" is way more ugly than the nice guy. Should i tell her that? Chubi.

So she just said, "I had so many texts last night. All of a sudden, everyone wanted to hang out with me." Ew gross.

Anyway, I am tired. And the library is closed. More stories of tramp stamps and chubis to come. Stay tuned. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Can someone PLEASE tell me why I clean my house? Or even attempt it? I swear to you, I spend the whole day cleaning and it never. gets. clean.
Why pick up the 29 shoes on the floor when tomorrow there will be 18 there again? Not just the kids', the husbands too. Never your own, just everyone elses!

And the brownie pieces/crumbs? Might at well leave those there too. They're easier to clean when they've had the chance to be stomped on (occasionally eaten), and flattended to the ground. The broom can scrape them up and the Swiffer too.

What about the clothes piles? Mine are clean and dirty and everywhere in between. So unless it's a "sensitive" (delicate if your normal) then it's probably on the floor. And will be until David or I gets too fed up with tripping over them.  Or if you're Sadie you omight be tired of sliding and falling on your butt. Poor girl.

Dishes in the sink? I am convinced I am the only one that cares about those. David would probably agree. I HATE doing them. But i ALWAYS do. How does that work out?

My least favorite chore that no one talks about? TOILETS! Who enjoys swiping poop and pee stains off of those germ infested bowls? Not me! Ew. Really gross. Especially because it's everyone elses poop and pee cause if I tinkle on the seat, you bet I'm gonna clean it up. And don't pretend you don't it occasionaly, cause you do. That time you were in a hurry, yeah. You left some behind. Watch. Now you're gonna check. If you are a close friend of mine you know I'm reminiscing about that time in 3rd grade where I got teased for this same mishap. Don't laugh.

What chore do you not enjoy?