I am really trying to pay attention to the way I feel lately. I am trying to discern between what is real and what is my depression/anxiety talking. I'm pretty sure what happened tonight was legit. And I think it's okay to feel a wee bit irrational at the moment. This post may or may not sound like something to be read at a funeral. Fair warning.
I started the day with letting my kids watch TV and that is also how it ended mostly because I, being the obvious adult here, couldn't handle what was going to happen later this night. So they watched a lot of TV, played some Xbox and maybe the computer until we got ready to go. I told them to get their pajamas on, that we would be back late. So they did. We hopped in the car and took them to get ice cream to help soften the blow of what was to come.
Up until the moment they said goodbye, they played. And laughed. And did kid things like chase each other and give piggy back rides. And then just like that they were gone.
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| I don't know who this is. |
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| Nevie AND Sadie ADORE Christian |
I can't do this part of the army. This is my 2nd not so fun goodbye and I am already done. Like how is that normal? Listen. I know people move, but it is different for us. We live in a foreign country away from all the people we love. So when we find these kind of friends, the ones that become family, it's hard to let go.
These are the friends that homeschool. So not only are our kids bff's, they are the friends they got to play with when they were done with school which is usually way before other kids get home because homeschooling is awesome! Their older daughter Princess Anna is our trusted babysitter and friend. Even if she can't keep her thumb out of the way of getting ruined. And they are the friends that my family spent Thanksgiving with when I had been released from the hospital that day. They even brought me a to go plate. Serious Steve and Whyvonne have become very important humans to me AND to my kids. We have spent many a time together, not always formally, usually randomly and that is the best kind in my opinion.
And then there was George Lopez. He came to Grafenwoehr to put on a show and we didn't even go! I think we are better for it because we got to meet him! He may or may not have been wasted. Lol. We were hanging in the hotel, Chris was chillin in the lobby and put in a frantic call to Yvonne to come down. Well then she hurried back up to tell us to come down because hello! On the way down, we took some awesome elevator selfies.
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| Should i send this to TMZ? |
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| Chelsi and Jerms used the luggage cart as an oversized skateboard. There's also video. |
Sadie didn't want to shake Mr. Lopez's hand. Nevie just stood there without shoes on like a classy broad. Haha.
So that happened. Before the goodbyes of course. It was like God/The Universe was showing kindness before taking us out. Lol.
We said a group prayer and hugged and quickly started shedding tears because the bus was pretty much already starting to leave. Like it was in gear and ready to go. Good job Jerms. We picked up the remnants of the Mannings (a random Ikea container, a notebook, some gum and some rackets that use birdies that we don't have. lol) Jackson cried. Sadie did too although she was very quiet about it. I only heard her soft sniffles. And that right there is why I have been dreading this day. I am an adult and can handle this, although that may be a lie. But my kids? Bleh.
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This was written 4 days ago and the wound is still fresh. I drove by their house yesterday and only cried a little. It's because the cleaning people were there. It was as if they don't even care about me! lol. I need to grieve. And that's the other thing I'm tired of people saying to me. "You'll get over it" and "You'll move on" and "Other stupid things". All of these people are clearly veterans of The Army Move and know it's true. But I'm not. And I believe having good friends move away is a form of loss just like any other kind. So I think I'm in all stages. I'm in the angry, in denial and depression ones. Don't bug me!
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