The New Year

She stands in front of the mirror looking at the wings protruding from the side of her head. They're not actual wings but they sure look like it. They come from the new hair growth caused by the growth in her belly born 8 months ago. At least its coming back. For awhile she thought for sure she'd be bald. You could look at her hair and see through it. Like that material that goes on prom dresses. Sheer and shiny.

As she continues to stare into the mirror at the begining of the year she ponders upon the things in her life. Goals possibly. Dreams and aspirations too. Should she make it her goal to lose 70 pounds? Nah. Instead she thinks of the duct tape in the cupboard and the magic it could do to her body. It'd probably hurt though. And she'd probably have to go to the doctor. And that'd be more embarrassing. She could keep wearing suck-me-ups. But they're uncomfortable too. So she decides to stick to the real goal. 70 pounds it is.

How will this go? How did this happen?

A song on the radio played today, clearly not written by the 18 year old boy band singers but by a man who has obviously been around an aging woman. Probably one with three kids,  and genes that arent skinny.

Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile,
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But i'll love them endlessly
(Chorus)I won't let this little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that i keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But You're perfect to me
You'll never treat yourself right darling but i want you to
If i let you know, i'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like i love you oh  I've just let these little things slips out of my mouth 'Cause it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to And i'm in love with you

They were driving home from a long day in town at various stores. They were all tired. She was driving and in a bad mood. That song came on the radio. He didnt say a word,  just leaned over and kissed her cheek. Sweet moment.

She's not doing this for him though.

I'm doing it for me.

1 comment

  1. You can do this. You're worth it. You deserve to have everything in this world that will make you happy. :)