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250 Posts and Missed Calls

Thursday, July 28, 2011
I can always tell what kind of day it's going to be based on the number of calls I get.

When I come into work I look at the answering machine. If that little red light is flashing, I know it's going to be an okay day but it's questionable as to how okay. Then I look at the number. If there is 1-2 messages, it's an "okay but eh... there's probably going to be some issues." If there is 3-5 messages, its a "everyone wants to complain and I'm gonna hear about it" day. Beyond that, I should probably give up. Those are the days where I hear about how terrible I am, and this company is, and our drivers are, and how we are just trashy people.  Funny right?

Generally speaking, the people that call and leave messages are, how do I say this nicely, idiots? Yeah. That's a good word. Today this lady called and left a message and said "I'm calling to pay my bill and it's 8:25....." as if I am supposed to care? She was saying it all surprised-like. Because apparently I'm not allowed to NOT answer the phone and I'm definitely NOT allowed to go pee. Rood.

It's surprising how busy I am. You might think that wouldn't be true at a garbage company. But with over 3000 customers (whose majority seems to be 60+ years old, or maybe they all just act that way), it's busy! Busy! I think when you are of that age, the highlight of your day is calling the utility companies to complain and be rude. They've got to get it out of their system somehow right? Do you hate me for not enjoying old people? Cause I sort of don't care. I only care because I like you and I don't want to hurt your feelings. Or your Grandma's.

Then there's the personal phone calls. I always base my day on how many collection calls I get before 10 a.m. On average? Let me count. There was only 4 yesterday. That's pretty good!  Listen, I pay my bills. Just not right now. Stop judging.

Anyway, that's all for now. I have messages waiting.

Dr. Pepper is The Doctor.

Monday, July 18, 2011
I'm watching my nieces/nephew today. The oldest says to me today, "Why are you wearing a Dr. Pepper shirt?" I replied that it happened to be the one I picked out of my drawer today. She then asked, "Do you drink Dr. Pepper?" and I replied that yes, I did. She then said, "I didn't know you drank Dr. Pepper". It was sort of hilarious. Because she was saying it as if I were a serial killer and she didn't know it. Like it was some startling revelation. She explained that in their family they aren't allowed to drink caffeine. Which I totally get. I let my kids drink Diet Coke and look at them now. In fact, Jackson is a Dr. Pepper baby and then I was converted to Diet Coke and thus Sadie was the Diet Coke baby. Does anyone want to study the effects of dark caffeinated beverages on kids whose parents drank with babies in the womb? I volunteer. My hand is raised high.

I remember when I was like 13 I decided to quit drinking. Soda that is. I was in 8th grade and I remember walking to P.E. with drink in hand. I took a sip of that Dr. Pepper from the can and it tasted soooo good. then I remembered my goal. I felt SO guilty. It was only the first day!

My grandpa had a storage room FULL of soda. I'm not kidding you. There might have been a vacuum or two in there but it was packed from ceiling to floor full of Pepsi and Dad's Rootbeer, and Sams Choice soda. I was a 6-pack-a-day-er. No kidding. And I was 10 and 11 and 12. What a life I had. Those are some of my best memories. A hot summer day, friends over, soda in hand, and a swimming pool outside. Occasionally, he bought us those giant packs of candy. My drug of choice? Purple skittles. AN ENTIRE pack. Like the giantest ones that you always want to buy at Costco, but know you'll regret later. I got that. I was probably the kid on the block that everyone hated. We always had good food. Except for the bratwursts grandpa kept in the produce drawer. I never did try one. I wish I would have.

So anyway, I blame my addiction on him. It's a legitimate excuse right? So the purchase of this Dr. Pepper shirt and my love of bubbly beverages and chewy candy is not something I can even control. It's inherited.

Knowledge is Power Apparently

Thursday, July 14, 2011
So if you think you know stuff, you don't! There will ALWAYS be someone who knows more than you. EW. Which is stupid. Because we all have DIFFERENT knowledge. For example, you don't know what it's like to trip up the stairs while holding a bag of potatoes. Oh, and.... neither do I.

This came from Facebook. It's an actual conversation (status) between people I know. And try and get past the spelling. It almost drove me to jump off a cliff. But I managed.

S: is this love ? I sure hope it is :D

Amber: Your too young:) lol

Heidi:  ‎:]

T:  S you have no idea what love is

S:  T you are 12 so shut your lips

T: hey your only what 16 so you need to shut yours this is only a page in your life. oh and i know a lot more then you think i do, and if your so big on knowing what love is tell me

S: im ok im not arguing with you im done

T: done with what‎?

T: i just dont want you to get hurt cuze trust me nomatter what you will never be strong enuf sorry if i was rud but i want you to mack it throw life without that mistak i love you (like a sister)

S: i ♥ you too but i do kno more then you

T:  then tell me i want to know

T:  i'm 13 and thank you i've learned a lot from my 8 sisters

Me: I want to get in on this fight.

Okay! So did you sort of understand it? I know it's hard with all the uh, spelling issues but I'll save that for Lessons in Grammar and Spelling: How to Use the Ends of Words (enuf, kno, rud, etc). Anyway, these girls are very different. T is so mature for her age, wise beyond her years I think. And S, does have more "experience" if we're speaking of actual age. So who's right? I can't say. I was debating back and forth on whose side to take and then I realized that they're both right, in their own right. And plus? How the heck do you measure knowledge?

At what age, and point of knowledge to I get to stop being called "hun" and do the calling of? Should I be grateful that these people think I'm young enough to call me that?  Or am I offended because it makes me feel like i'm 14 and talking to a chomo?

Today at work some lady was explaining what a crappy person I was because my driver didn't pick up her 4 extra (LARGE) bags of trash. I told her that I could send the driver back if she could put the bags inside the can. She said to me "These are 55G bags hun, they aren't going to fit. They are just as big as the can.". Um lady, I know how big those bags are. They're as big as the bags I'm gonna throw at your house. Or as big as the bags under my eyes from listening to you complain.  Our cans are 96G. So use your muscles and squeeeeze. because that's the only way you're gonna get your trashy trash picked up. That's what I wanted to say. But didn't.

How rood.

Twilight > Harry Potter

Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Dear Annie, I hate to do this because I absolutely agree with your stance and I feel like a super-traitor and all with the upcoming movie and what-not AND because I'm reading the 7th book right now AND because i'm going to the movie at midnight oh one, AND because I made a shirt and will wear it BUT, SOMEONE has to stand up for Twilight. So here ya go. :-) (it was secretly REALLY hard to find even this stuff. lol)

Hiatus Say What?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011
You've probably been wondering where I am. Or, you probably haven't. You probably haven't even noticed that I've been missing because your Google Reader does all the work for you. Lazy bums.

It's been a whirlwind of a ride. Oh geez, not another cliche. But whatev. Anyway, blah blah blah, David's been gone for 23 days, blah blah blah. And I've sort of been working on this other project for him which I will someday unveil to you. It's not necessarily secret, I just don't want to put forth the effort to tell you about it right now.

However, I do want to tell you a few things.

Number one, my teeth are gritty and I don't want to brush them.
Number two, secretly, you don't like brushing your teeth 3 times a day either so stop lying about it.

Aside from that, here is your obligatory Happy 4th of July. I'm feeling rather unfestive considering my situation (my husband is in the Army and is gone for training). You might think that I'd be all patriotic and what-not. But I have a feeling I'll have plenty of that to come. I think what it is is that I got exhausted the moment I THOUGHT about going out with 2 kids by myself. Yeah, I know right?

I DO have a "Thank You" sticker with a flag in the background in my purse from Em's mom. Does that count? I might even stick it in my window or something.

I'm overly emotional at this moment because I had to say goodbye to my sissy today. She left for Utah to start a new adventure. I am so excited for her but really sad for myself. I love her tons and tons. And since she doesn't read my blog, I'm going to post a picture of her and wait for her to call me and yell at me. But again, I think it's super cute. When I was going through the pictures on my camera this one totally caught my eye. She looks like my little sister in this picture instead of my younger sister. You know what I mean? It takes me back to days old.

I love you sis, Rosacea and all. lol.

My sweet sissy is super unselfish. She'll give you everything she has and not think twice about it. You know that guilty feeling you get when you borrow or take something from someone? Well she has this magical way of making you NOT feel that way. If I could give her anything in return, it would be confidence in herself. She's got SO much to offer and I wish I could instill in her that belief. Maybe that's what Utah will bring. Utah, can you do that for me? (Utah as in, a general sense. The people, the life, the everything). Oh wait, but if you do decide to become Mormon sis, don't be one of THOSE ones okay? You know those ones that I won't say out loud but you know what I mean?

Ugh, change is so hard. And I sort of don't like it. Good luck sister! I love you! And so does God! And Dayne! And Sadie and Jackson and all your Facebook friends. lol.

Anyway, that was serious business. I'm off to dreamland. ew. I hate that cliche too. Gross. But I love you.