Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I feel sort of giddy. I'm not really sure why either? Maybe it's the excitement of forthcoming events. If you would have talked to me yesterday though, I would have said something a lot different. It hurt my brain to think about all the changes and things that are occuring right now.

First of all, we are buying a house! Big big deal! It's a HUGE deal right? Yeah. It is.

Secondly, David all of a sudden has 2 jobs! That's crazy too.

Thirdly, I have a job still. And that makes for confusion when trying to schedule schedules. lol.

Fourthly, David is going to school. And doing ROTC. AND we just have to come up with like a gazillion dollars to pay for it. So that's big too right?

Fifthly, I can't think of another thing. But 5 is a good, round, solid number. I bet you thought I was gonna say something about having another baby huh?

So with all of that being said, there is SO much to plan and be excited for! The most exciting thing for me is the house situation. I'm gonna have a house where I can paint the walls!!! That has been my life dream since forever. It's really super small (but very cute) and I can't wait to figure out how to fit everything. The yard is amazing. I can't wait to have yard parties with bonfires and processed meat. Come over! It will be so fun.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I had a "moment" yesterday in church. It wasn't something even remotely fantastical. But it maybe was for me. I kind of decided that I want to be good again. Not that I am not, but I want to be better.

I love Jesus. I love God. I want them to be a part of my daily life. Again, not that they aren't, but I will make a more conscious effort to let them in more often. I remember when my sister said to me that God is at the door waiting for me. And what are my reasons for not letting Him in? I don't have any.

It sort of made me cry. I talked to David on the way home from church about this. And at first, I didn't really wanna talk about it because I didn't want to cry. But I did talk about it. And I only got a bit teary eyed.

I am blessed.

I think I might be on the edge which makes me even more emotional. The edge of what you ask? The edge of everything! I started ANOTHER diet today. I hate it. I hate it more than I hate anything. It makes me cranky and cranky and cranky. David said he might force feed me if I don't stop. lol (Here are the negative thoughts for today). I just wish I wasn't fat and that people didn't hate fat people. I KNOW people look at me and wonder where I went wrong. Where did skinny Lisa go?

Maybe she went away after she got married. Or maybe it was her dad dying in her house, or maybe after moving across the country, or having a baby, or _________ (this very personal, awful event), or another baby, moving back to AZ, or some other reason (which it most likely is. Like, I got careless and lazy).

I want that Lisa back just as much as you do.

These are my super most inner thoughts. They are so conflicting. I love God. but I hate myself. How does that make sense? God loves me. SO much. So why can't I love me?

Jackson loves his cousin "Steppy". They climbed in the box together, on their own, without help. Sort of a really cute moment. They play so well together. I think its because she is very patient with Jackson. He was playing with some blocks and so she says, "When Jackson is done, I will make a slide." How nice!

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Friday, May 7, 2010

Is he not so cute? I dont even have words for him. Such a sweet sweet boy. Lately his thing is singing the ABC's. "Mommy. ABC's?"

Thank you aunt J for the jammies!

Sadie rode in the big girl swing today. So crazy. Right now she is in the strapped in one. I think she might be falling asleep.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sadie is on my lap. She is sassy.

Jackson was in my lap yesterday. I feel like these days are precious. The times where they sit in your lap. And just sit. These days? They won't last forever. Especially since kids grow SO fast.

Someone threw away an entire dumpster full of candy and soda and snacks. David and his mama went dumpster diving. They brought home Mike n' Ikes (I don't know how to spell that), Ding-Dongs and Air Heads. And they all taste good! David said there were some things they couldn't salvage like the pretzels. They got oil in them.

Yesterday was Monday. It totally felt like one too. I may have said some mean things in my head.

David is at work. I will go to work soon too. In fact, I better get ready right now. What are you doing today?

Does anyone know how to work TypePad? Or whatever? I want my site to be cool. How do I do it?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Well friends, how goes it?

I live with the abominable Sadie. She is a really cute one though.

So is this one. lol

We took some beer over to the parents house last night. We didn't say much until people started noticing. It was quite funny. I wonder how many people wanted to drink some. I know I did. Just kidding.

We got it for the guy who is fixing our car. It's a friend of a friend and he told us not to pay him, but to get him beer. I think paying the $11.00 for some Pacifico was better than paying a $100 for some other guy to do the same thing. Good times. So now we will have air conditioning! Yay!

I don't think there is much else to report at this time. Well there is, but not right now.