Friday, January 18, 2013

It happened. We got away with 4 years. And I think its fixable.

It only started yesterday that she was obsessed with scissors. And by the night, well that happened.

She has this look she gets on her face when she has done something she knows she's not supposed to. That sly, deer in the headlight look. She had that as I caught her throwing away something in the trash. She throws things away like they're no big deal. She threw away an entire banana after eating one bite. That happens a lot.  She threw away sugar cookies!! What? And last night, she threw away that giant bunch of beautiful hair.

Anyway, this post is so we can remember. Its just hair right? When did your kids cut their hair for the first time?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Are you going through a break-up? Is it hard? Is it sad? Are you angry? If so, no need to look further. These songs will help you get through it.

I need your help! Here are a bunch of songs that should definitely make your iTunes playlist. Go on. Check 'em out. And add to it by leaving a comment! First is the list of angry songs and then there's the list of sad songs. And included for your enjoyment are some empowering songs as well. Thanks for stopping by friends. We're here for you. And so are these songs. :-)

Angry Songs

We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift
Done. by The Band Perry
Payphone by Maroon 5 (feat. Wiz Khalifa)
I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift
Blow Me (One Last Kiss) by P!nk
Mr. Know it All by Kelly Clarkson
Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye (Feat Kimbra)
Wide Awake by Katy Perry
I Don't Need a Man by The Pussycat Dolls
What the Hell by Avril Lavigne
According to You by Orianthi
Blind by Ke$ha
No Love by Eminem feat. Lil Wayne
How's It Gonna Be by Third Eye Blind
Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce
Hate by Plain White T's
I Don't Want You Back by Eamon
Grow a Pear by Ke$ha
Irreplaceable by Beyonce
So What by Pink
Love the Way You Lie by Eminem
Get Gone by Fiona Apple
Figher by Christina Aguilera
Womanizer by Britney Spears
I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance
Call Me When You're Sober by Evanescence
I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace

Sad Songs

Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus
Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk
Without You by David Guetta
Clarity by Zedd
Just a Fool by Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton
Let Her Go by Passenger
Goodbye In Her Eyes by the Zac Brown Band
Stay by Rihanna (feat. Mikky Ekko)
When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars
Wide Awake by Katy Perry
Last Goodbye by Ke$ha
I'll Keep The Kids by Montgomery Gentry
Fading by Rihanna
Set Fire To The Rain by Adele
The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

Empowering Songs

Roar by Katy Perry
Brave by Sara Bareilles
We Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus
Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips
22 by Taylor Swift
Can't Hold Us by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (feat. Ray Dalton)
Carry On by Fun.
Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson
Try by P!nk
Titanium by David Guetta
Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys (this version feat. Nicki Minaj)
We Still In This Beeyotch by B.o.B (feat T.I. and Juicy)
50 Ways to Say Goodbye by Train (funny!)
Tornado by Little Big Town
Warrior by Ke$ha
Die Young by Ke$ha
Scream and Shout by (feat Britney)
Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)  by Kelly Clarkson
The Fighter by Gym Class Heroes (feat. Ryan Tedder)
Some Nights by Fun
Beautiful Day by U2
Young, Wild and Free by Snoop Dog and Wiz Khalifa

She stands in front of the mirror looking at the wings protruding from the side of her head. They're not actual wings but they sure look like it. They come from the new hair growth caused by the growth in her belly born 8 months ago. At least its coming back. For awhile she thought for sure she'd be bald. You could look at her hair and see through it. Like that material that goes on prom dresses. Sheer and shiny.

As she continues to stare into the mirror at the begining of the year she ponders upon the things in her life. Goals possibly. Dreams and aspirations too. Should she make it her goal to lose 70 pounds? Nah. Instead she thinks of the duct tape in the cupboard and the magic it could do to her body. It'd probably hurt though. And she'd probably have to go to the doctor. And that'd be more embarrassing. She could keep wearing suck-me-ups. But they're uncomfortable too. So she decides to stick to the real goal. 70 pounds it is.

How will this go? How did this happen?

A song on the radio played today, clearly not written by the 18 year old boy band singers but by a man who has obviously been around an aging woman. Probably one with three kids,  and genes that arent skinny.

Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile,
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But i'll love them endlessly
(Chorus)I won't let this little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that i keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But You're perfect to me
You'll never treat yourself right darling but i want you to
If i let you know, i'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like i love you oh  I've just let these little things slips out of my mouth 'Cause it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to And i'm in love with you

They were driving home from a long day in town at various stores. They were all tired. She was driving and in a bad mood. That song came on the radio. He didnt say a word,  just leaned over and kissed her cheek. Sweet moment.

She's not doing this for him though.

I'm doing it for me.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

David started school yesterday and I already want to die a little. I don't think I'm gonna make it. Am I?

I wasn't even home most of the day today. So that's approximately one and a half days as a stay at home mom by myself and I'm already dying? It's gonna be a long semester.

The Polar Express Night
When I read Janells post about Chloe and how she's a tad bit high maintenance I remember thinking, "how weird. I Don't think Sadie's like that." I take it back. I take back ALL those thoughts. I was wrong. I think I was just blind to it because I've had David home and he's been sharing the parenting with me. That girl needs attention like 26 hours a day. Then I have Nevie who's starting to get pretty socially saavy and recognizing that she can whine to get attention. Oh my. Insane. How am I supposed to survive? I know. I hide. Well I try. It doesn't work. But right now, David's home from school and I just sneak into my room for as long as I can. I'm fine if I get a break every once in awhile.

I am writing this super long and poetic and lame post about myself and the new year. I'm totally hesitant to post it. I hate those Emo posts. I think mine always end up that way anyway.

We've been watching Fringe lately. Have you seen it? It's totally worth the investment into Netflix or Hulu or the $19 at Hastings to buy the WHOLE season (right?) on DVD. WE're in the third season and they *spolier alert* find out there's an alternate universe. Except I think they find that out in the second season. But anyway, there's exact replica's of people there. Except they're not exactly the same. Anyway, it's proving to be realllllly super good. Like Alias and X-Files combined. But not creepy alien style. So what would and "alternate" you act like? What if they were everything you aren't? That could be good or bad right? I just wonder. Omg. ONe of the characters says something like "She's got her own vagenda.". Hilarious. Love.

This is Rebecca and Adam. I miss them.
Adam Nickle gave us this keyboard for a computer for the kids and it's a Cyborg keyboard and reallllly intense and awesome. IT has a backlight on it that you can change the color on. And it's got ALLLL the buttons you want. And some that you don't. Well if you do want them, I don't know why. Like theres a C1-C12 AND and F1-F12. Holy moley right?  Thanks Adam! IT's come really in handy since our stoopid laptop broke in every way possible.

My neighbor makes me food sometimes. It's so good. You need a neighbor like mine. For realz. Too bad. You probably don't have one.

I really want to do a Biggest Loser contest. I wish people would join me. But I don't know how to ask. Like I want to know if there's people that want to lose weight with me. How do I reach out without sounding so stoopid? Its based on percentages. Like not just pounds. Should I post something on Facebook? Then, like my sister-in-laws family is doing, everyone would put in like $20 or $30 and whoever wins gets all the money. So great. I want to. So bad.

WEll this is offically so dum of a post. I'm gonna go stick my feet near a heater since David lost by BearPaw boots. Sad day.