Dirty Laundry

Sorry about that post last night. I'm feeling much of the same but I'm a little more settled down.

I don't actually hate my husband. Not even a little. In fact, I love him too much I think. That's why this is so freakin' hard. Speaking of freakin'. Sadie says to me today, "Mom. The baby is freakin' crying." 

I have written about 6 different paragraphs and erased all of them. I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure what my part is. I haven't talked to David today at all because I don't want to be sad/mad at him. Am I supposed to be honest with him or am I supposed to be strong and awesome for him so he doesn't miss home? I think either way, someone gets the shatty end of the deal.

Therefore, I have decided to plead the fifth. Today was especially hard because of many different reasons. Wow. That was one of those vague-to-the-max status update lines you see on Facebook. I think it was hard because of too much sun, carrying heavy things, allergies, Costco with three kids, extreme exhaustion, and well... you know.

It was especially awesome because Jackson said to me twice today, "You're the best mom. I love you." And then he asked me if he could give me a kiss. It was sooooooo uber sweet. And Sadie randomly throughout the day says to me, "Mom." and waits for me to respond. Then she'll say, "I love you." It's totally awesome. And then Jackson will say when I won't let him have 10 Skittles, "You're not the best mom anymore." lol. I love it. And Nevie has totally started cooing and smiling (more to my mom than me!) It was especially awesome because my sister let me be rude to her even when she was being totally nice and sincere. It was also awesome because I have GREAT no, THE BEST family ever. My mom comes after work to check on me, and help me get kids ready and into bed. My sister-in-law comes over and sweeps my floor and does laundry and watches kids so I can afford the luxury of showering. My neighbors pretty much save me every day. My dad called to check and make sure Jackson had a way to get to his school picnic. I am blessed. And if I forgot to mention you today, I'm super sorry. My brain hurts but my heart is full.
I tried to get a smile on camera. Does this count?

Thanks Brigitte for this awesome machine! Kids love it!

1 comment

  1. You're doing great! Hang in there. I love to hear you have so much help.