My controversial nose ring

I don't have one yet. I think I am going to wait till Monday. Maybe I will go tomorrow. I don't know. Anyway, I am so excited. I feel like it is something that I have wanted to do for myself and am going to do based on my own decision and reasoning. I looked at quite a lot of stuff on the internet about the Mormon view on piercings in general and found a lot of support for doing it.

These last few days have been the toughest yet most rewarding days of my life. I wish I could put into words how I feel at this moment but I can't. It's a strange sensation that I am not used to. Let me try and explain
Moving to Lock Haven was the best thing for my testimony. In Paulden America it was failing miserably. Moving to an area where the gospel is not prevalent has given me an opportunity to examine my own true feelings about it in a way that is not clouded by my angriness towards the leaders in the Stake I was in. I have now discovered quite a bit.

I KNOW the fundamentals of the gospel of Jesus Christ are true. I do however; have a large problem with everything else about the church. No one has been able to give me answers either. It is wearing on my spirit to the point that I don't know anymore. Its so weird because I know, but I don't really know. It is frustrating to me. Some of my questions are thus....

Why do I have to wait until judgment day for the truth to come to those leaders who have been clearly wrong in the first place?

Why can we eat tons and tons of meat but not drink alcohol, although we are told to avoid both in the Word of Wisdom?

Why do the leaders of the church set forth standards that give LDS members more reason to judge each other? (This one comes from my studies on nose rings and other piercings.)

Why are the mission rules so ridiculous? Why can two missionaries NOT be in the same room as a girl but two girl missionaries can be in the presence of any number of men? Clearly that is stupid.

WHY, oh why, do my sisters (and I) receive SUCH horrible treatment from the male leaders of the church ALL THE TIME!

There are so many why's for me. Luckily, my testimony has nothing to do with the actualities of these principles. My testimony is solely based on my relationship with God and the testimony I have of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith. BUT.... the problem comes when the above questions cannot be answered.
If there are answers out there which are logical and true, where the hell are they? I guess I should refer to a quote by an actual Mormon. His name is Hugh B. Brown. He says this; Some say that the open-minded leave room for doubt. But I believe we should doubt some of the things we hear. Doubt has a place if it can stir in one an interest to go out and find the truth for one's self."

Keyword there is truth for ones self. That doesnt mean that I should go find the truth according to what the church teaches me. I interpret it to mean that I should go and find the truth out for me. That's what I did and that is why a nose piercing is perfect for me. Thank you.

P.S. The people that get to read this are the ones that I love and know don't judge me. So thank you. 

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