The Beginning of THE 21/90 Project

I'm hungry just thinking about it. To be fair, I was warned this might happen. At the same time, I'm not writing about it as if it's a thing of the past... it hasn't even started yet.

Tomorrow marks the first day of the first phase of 21/90 for me and 40ish other participants. The 21/90 Project is a program developed by my sister-in-law Hannah Richardson and centers on eating whole, unprocessed foods in order to heal our gut, reduce inflammation and hopefully balance blood sugar levels. There's much more to it than I can express with my minimal vocabulary and yet it feels so simple. It's what I should be doing anyway. 

A few years ago I picked up almost all of Michael Pollan's books. He writes about food. lol. The basic premise of all of his stuff is the following quote and it's always resonated with me.

All my good friends know I struggle with symptoms of IBS. haha. But for real.  And hypoglycemia. And other things. I'm really hoping to fix these ailments and fix my mind and my beliefs surrounding food.

Currently though, I'm experiencing a high amount of anxiety. I have hope that it will go away tomorrow once the program begins.  I think the anticipation of it is what's causing this flare up and if it doesn't go away by the end of the week, I'm going in. The physical symptoms are too much.  The shaking and the stomach ache and the heart palpitations don't feel good. I'm also more tired than I've ever been. Again, I have hope that with the whole foods and the building anticipation, it will go away.
Honestly, I think a lot of my anxiety stems from FEAR. Fear of the unknown. I've done a similar eating plan before and it was hella hard. I remember laying  in bed almost crying because I wanted a Diet Coke so bad. I remember being on the phone with my sister asking her to talk me away from going to Taco Bell to order the 10 pack. For myself.  I'm afraid of feeling these things again! I've become so reliant on certain items as a source of comfort: fountain diet soda, something sour, something hot to drink at night, etc. I don't think it's bad to have something to look forward to but it's almost as if my mood is dependent on it. Right David? And Chelsi? And Everyone who knows me? Lol. 

SO! I'm totally anxious. I doubt myself and I hate that. I know I'm capable. I know I can do it. I've taken all the steps to succeed. My cupboards and counters are filled with All The Good Things. Now I just need to fill my mind with the good things.

Have you ever done Whole 30 or Paleo? Share a tip or two with me please. I hear the first 3-4 days are hell and that it gets better after that. What are your go-to snacks? Let me know how you survived!

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