Its Kind of Weird

I'm so alone right now. Literally. My boys went away for the night and I am secretly living it up. On Myspace. I know right? I am happy to even have a chance to write this blog though. Usually I would be dealing with a little guy climbing all over me or hitting the keyboard or trying to pull the mouse down. So this is actually a perfect evening for me.
I was gonna write this hater blog on my blogspot but it doesn't quite fit there. I have a secret blog and a public one and I kind of feel like my Myspace one is a combo of both. I like it.

Does anyone really know that I am gonna have a baby in like one week. J and I decided that 10-28-08 is a good date. I'm aiming for that.

Everyone says that family is the most important thing. I would say that is true in some aspects. I think there are a few things that tie with it. Or maybe come before. And that is my relationship with God and the place I put Him in my life. I feel like if that is on good terms, everything else will fall into place. I'm not preaching here because neither my relationship with God or His place in my life are in good standing at this moment. Maybe that's why my relationship with my family is suffering.

It's not suffering in the immediate sense. Me, David and Jackson, and baby girl are tight. Like my butt... or I guess my belly. My butt sure isn't tight right now but my stomach is. Anyway, I'm feeling a lot of bitterness towards the others.

Steph would say something about thinking before speaking but sometimes I just don't want to. I am feeling a lot of anger and I don't really know what to do about it.

I live super close to the majority of my family yet I never see them. I hate that. One of the big reasons for me moving back to AZ was to be with them. It's not really happening. It's only been a couple of weeks since David and I have really been on our own and I already feel this way. It's poopy.

So basically that is all. I'm not even funny in this blog. I guess I'm feeling a little more serious. Oh well. I'm gonna go post a new picture of Jackson even though I secretly hate people that do that and make it their default picture. It's YOUR myspace. Not your childs. again, I'm talking to myself here cause I'm about to go do it. He's way cuter than I am.

Goodbye my lovers. 

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