Monday, November 26, 2007

I miss my sisters so much it hurts my heart.

David does not really understand. He tries I think, but it's different for him. Maybe it's cause he is a guy, or maybe it's cause he doesn't have that same bond.

He asked me what would make me happy and I said "being around my family". It's not that I don't love him or Jackson, but it makes all the difference in the world to have my sisters around. When I was with them I was happy, I was supported, I lost weight even.

When things went wrong, they were there for me. They really were. No one can tell me different. A few people in my family said some naughty stuff that could have been left unsaid, but not my sisters.

Definately not them. I love them and I need them. I wanna go home tonight. 

Sunday, November 25, 2007

I just finished my effing paper for SOC 320 on emotional labor. If you don't know what that is, go look it up because I am tired of talking about it.

I am such a last minuter. This paper is due tomorrow and im just getting it done. I guess tonight is better than tomorrow night at midnight right?

Sometimes I get mad at the world. Do you? I don't usually have any reason to do so, but I do.
Jackson is getting cuter and cuter by the day. I love him.

So it's weird that a lot of people I know are getting additions to their bodies like tatoos and boobs and piercings. Maybe I should get some of those too so I am not left out. Well not the boobs cause I have a lot of those already. Well only two, but you know what I am saying right? Everyone's doing it I might as well jump on it. I want to get my nose pierced again, and some tatooes would be cool. I can't spell that word. Tatttoooooeeess.

I like Mocha. Mocha means chocolate in coffee language. My phone spells it omaha though. T9 sucks. I need the new one. I can't remember what they are calling it nowadays. At least I get an upgrade soon so I can be popular like the popular people I know who have the Envy (they spell it funky though) and the Blackberry and the skinny phones. Mine is fat and red. I like it.

Vagina. Sometimes I just want to write that word.

My feet are cold and I have a headache. Do you?

Why do I get so random? Maybe it is because its one A-M and I am tired. BUt I am SO thrilled to be done with my paper. I am really proud of myself. I deserve to eat 3 cookies for that.

Ooooh speaking of cookies. I am gonna be the first person in PA that gets skinny in the winter. You know how you put on weight in the winter because your body is being all cool and going into survival mode? Well I am gonna lose it. I'm tired of people talking about how thin they are or how loose their pants are. SHUT UP! As soon as I stop giving the kid the boob, I'm going on Alli (the FDA approved weight loss pill). My BMI is too high anyway and I want to fit into my skinny jeans. I even got them out of the basement so I can hang them up and have them as motivation.

Wow. I reread that paragraph. It's awful. Oh well. I love everyone.

Oh my gosh! I went shopping on Black Friday. It was better than Christmas. Considering that Christmas is gonna suck this year (yes I love you David but I want to be with my fam too), Black Friday afforded me the excitement of waking up early that i won't get because my effing family is lame. Whoa, two effings in one blog. I'm feeling pretty passionate. Anyway, it was the best thing ever. Jenny, Martina and I totally snuck up to the front of the line for the cheap digital picture frames at Wal-Mart and I guess karma got us back because Jenny got smacked in the face. Not fun. But kind of funny. People were SO crazy. I live for that kind of stuff.

Ok. That's all. 

Saturday, November 3, 2007

So. Sometimes in life you watch movies that make you feel things. Tonight I watched one of those movies. I won't say the name of it because I feel like I might give too much away.

As we were watching, some of the people in the audience got embarrassed during some of the parts because they were uncomfortable to watch/see/hear. However, for me, they were real. Not in the actual sense, but in the general sense.

In the film, the main character deals with a lot of crap. She loses her mom (emotionally) to an awful man, is judged because she's different (and doesn't know why),  and is confused at what reality/truth are. I relate to this girl.

The end was wonderful. I cried. The mom forgives, the girl forgives and it's truly touching. I often wonder if I have forgiven. I think I have yet to do so. That's why I am working on it.  Thank goodness for Al-Anon.
It's crazy how something like that can inspire people. David is writing a song, maybe not because of this movie, but I am writing because of it. I actually haven't written in awhile. I have SO much to say. Seriously. I write blogs in my head every night before I go to bed. And they are usually good. I write and rewrite it until I get it right. And then I am too tired to get up and put it on "paper" or computer I should say.

Tonight I will write just a few of those things though.

I went to D.C. this weekend. It was awful. Memories and thoughts flooded my mind. I'm not sure why it all happened that weekend, but it did. Anyway, on the way home I was thinking about how we all answer to someone. I don't know why either. Why do we care? Aaron gave a good answer. He said that maybe its because of the consequences. Makes sense. I guess my question then would be, why do people make stupid rules? We were at the Sheetz stopping for a restroom break and in the restaurant area there was a handmade sign that said "Eating area is for one hour use only". Why? Why does an hour or two hours make any difference to anyone?

Just one of those things I was thinking about.

I want to go back to the movie. I loved it. I seriously hope that the ending of that movie happens to me. I know it "only happens in the movies" but I want it in my life for real. A lot of work has yet to be done.

That's all for now. I think I am gonna try and write more often.