Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I Hate Kindergarten

***this post was written back on August 6th of last year (2012). I decided to "finish" it today.***

This is pretty much the biggest day of my his life so far. And I hate it. Officially. I was pretty much cranky all day long.
Aug 6th, 2012

The Nev woke me up at 4:30 and at that time I had almost convinced myself he wasn't going to go to kindergarten at all. Like it just wasn't going to happen.

I really like him. I really enjoy this kid. He's super great. So I am sad that he wants to go to school. I hate it actually. Ugh.

His teacher is wonderful. I'm sure it's going to be awesome. But right now i just wanna die and cry inside. I almost can't even talk about it.

We were leaving the driveway and I kept saying to him that I didn't want him to grow up. That I wanted him to be little forever. And he says to me, "Mom, I can't stop having birthdays. Only Jesus Christ has the power to stop birthdays." lol lol! I was like. Hmmm... true statement.

He was also super mad that I didn't let him take the bus this morning. He wanted to ride it so bad. So I told him he could ride it on the way home. He was satisfied with that.

This blog is not saving. I hate my interweb right now. Hate. it.

I kind of hate everyone and everything. It's weird. I haven't had this feeling in a lonnnnngggg time. I've been kind of really happy lately but today I've felt extra rageful. I want to go to movies all day long. Sit in front of a screen and let it feed my brain.


As I look back on that post, I kind of wish I had went with my gut and not put him in school at all. And we ended up pulling him out anyway like 10 days before school was out because of stoopid politics. But whatev. His teacher was freakin' awesome and if she would have stayed at the school, WE might have stayed.  But you know how it is. There is all of these guilt feelings associated with homeschooling, at least for me, because it ISN'T the norm. It's a little uncomfortable for me still to say that I'm homeschooling. I'm not confident yet. It's almost that I'm ashamed and I hate that! It's especially hard because I am actually unschooling. I don't have a curriculum, we don't always do school, and it's all brand new territory!

Aug 2013
Aug 2013
Aug 2013
 I can't wait for the day where I will say with pride that I am a homeschooler. I can't wait for the day when I will look at other moms who homeschool and not feel this terrible punch in the gut every time I see a post about their awesome mommy skills, how they made 6! weeks! of! lesson! plans! bleh.

Until that time, I'll just brag about all of the awesome things I have done! Today for example, a group of us early education moms went to the Collier Family Farm and had a tour. A personal one. I felt so lucky. Because the tour guide was a good friend and because I set it up. lol. I'm so amazing. Just kidding. It was a good time though. I hope (I think) the kids had fun!

We got to pick the squash up from the ground

Fill the wagon

Push/Pull the wagon
And feed the pig! 

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