Blah, Blah, Blah

That's basically all I was going to put and then post it. Cause that's totally how I'm feeling. Overwhelmed and stressed out and I feel like I can't bear the pressure anymore and that I'm about to frickin' explode all over everyone. Like literally burst into flames. It could totally happen. I'm a redhead after all.

So you know how I said that my daily life is worth blogging about? It totally is. Just today I went to the store. Granted, I only had 2 kids with me so I don't have much to complain about. Except I will.

We had a few errands to run that shouldn't have taken much time. Do I hear you laughing? I had the pre-schoolers with me. So it definitely took awhile. First to the post office where we mailed some invites. Instead of putting them in all at once, they did them one at a time. First Sadie and then Jackson. So there we were... at the post office... for much time. Then to the store. I tried not to be that mom you want to yell at for yelling at her kids. I don't even need to give you details because I'm sure many of you know what it's like trying to maneuver the isles with 2 kids either hanging on or around the cart and knocking things over and asking for fruit snacks and candy bars. At least my kids are awesome and don't throw tantrums when they don't get their way. They just ask for something else. lol.

Because they did well at the store we got chocolate milk. We went to the car where I did NOT return my cart to the cart stall (Hello! I'm tired!) and headed home when Jackson promptly spilt his chocolate milk all over the car. Chocolate milk. It's summer. It's milk. Really?

Oh well.

Can I please talk about people now? I'm even willing to talk about people in front of their backs. But kind of not because it's on this blog and they might even read it. I feel like people aren't being gentle with me. And I know that is a completely gross thing to say and it totally represents everything I generally hate but whatev. It's my turn I guess. I feel like there can't possibly be anymore demands for my time and my money and my energy than there are now. And I don't know how to tell people no, or ask for the things I need. So instead I just throw a mini pity party here on this blog and I won't say anything and I'll just be exploding soon.

This is always how it was for me growing up. I know that was a mixture of tenses but I had to say it that way. Anyway, I had this internal jar that I would fill up with emotions unspoken. Eventually it would get full and I would explode into lots of little pieces all over the place. Since then, I've grown a little and at least tried to speak my peace even if I've done a crappy job at it. But at this time I feel like there are a million different places where I need to speak that peace and I don't even have the energy for it. I wish I could be specific but I fear I might hurt feelings and then that vicious cycle will start again. I'm gonna go write those specifics down somewhere else where hopefully I can release and let go.

The end.

2 comments

  1. Life with little ones is so exhausting. I'm sorry this was a heavy day. I wish people would be more kind to you. It's too easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and not think about what we are asking of others and whether they have it to give.

    I'm glad you feel like you are making progress talking about how you feel and what you need. It comes a little at a time and it seems like we have to learn it on our own. It isn't taught to most of us as we grow. A little at a time is still progress.

    I hope you are in a much better place now.

    ReplyDelete

Instagram

HER FIVE CENTS. Theme by STS.