Saturday, April 24, 2010

Fat Girls

Revealing post here we come!

There are 3 types of women:

A) Big girls that want to be skinny.
B) Skinny girls that want to be skinnier (I call them skinny chubis).
C) Women who are completely comfortable with where they are.

I want to fall in to category C. Ugh.

I know a woman who is a big girl. She LOVES it though. She is completely satisfied with the size she is, and people know that. Men know that, women know it, her kids know it. And I love her for it. She should be a spokeswoman for big girls everywhere. I use the term "girls" to include women, teenagers, people in general. Anyway, why do we always want what we don't have?

I know another woman who has also impacted me with her own saying, "If you don't like the way I/it/my house looks, look away!" Love that too!

It sort of irks me that I feel an 'expectation' to be skinny because, I was once! I was 120 pounds skinny. I don't know that I ever want to be that small again. It was in high school. I do want to be healthy though.

hCG works! I did it for about 12 days and lost 10 pounds! It was incredible. It was also miserable. I couldn't eat with my family. I missed Easter with David's family, and also a GREAT enchilada dinner with my family (a five layer chocolate cake included). Okay, so I didn't "miss" the events. I was there, but I was also not there. People were socializing and eating and laughing and I was growling. Literally. Well not really. But my stomach was. Do you realize how much our(my) world revolves around food??? Craziness.

I learned a huge lesson though! I really did. I feel like I learned what I needed to learn from hCG. That I don't need tons of processed foods! On the hCG diet you eat 500 calories a day. 2 meats, 2 veggies, 2 fruits and 2 small (very small) breads. And that's what it should be! Not neccesarily the 500 calories, but whole foods.

I'm back to Weight Watchers. I can eat what I want, but just less of it. And I have to pick and choose what I want to spend my points on.

I'm excited to be on a journey. And while I'm on it, I don't want to talk about it. Really. I don't. Maybe I shouldn't of said anything in the first place, but just for me, I needed to get it out there. My journey isn't one of becoming skinny (although that would be nice), but it's one of self-discovery and confidence. I want to love myself once again. Even if I don't lose a pound, I want to lose my negativity. Towards others, and towards myself.

It hurts my feelings when people brag about their awesomeness when it comes to working out, eating salads everyday and running 10 miles in 5 minutes. I know, I know. It shouldn't matter. And again, that's part of thise journey. To be happy for other people and their success! Because I know so many people that are happy for me!

Well, that's all for now. Guess what? I'm going to work out! Whoop.

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