Sunday, March 8, 2009

My Feet Are Cold

I'm alone. Not really. It's quiet though. David went up to southern Utah with his dad this weekend. That means I have had the kids all by myself for the past couple of days. We've done well. Chelsi has been here some of the time which is always SO helpful. I did put them both to bed on both nights and I must say that I am proud.

I miss him though.

We had dinner tonight for Darrell. It was his birthday on the 5th. He's an amazing man. So kind and thoughtful. I made Cherry Chip cake for him because it's his favorite. No one ate it. That made me sad. We ate at the Texas Roadhouse. Everyone was mad because I forgot the discount card. I'm out of cash dollars. I can't find my debit card and David is gone with his therefore if I need anything, I can't get it. It's sort of scary.

I don't ever want to be one of those people that is always so down. I don't want to be one of those people that is always so happy either. I want to be real.

I'm struggling with myself right now. Somehow I can't find the time to work out, but I can find the time to eat a piece of cake or drink a milkshake. What happened to motivation? I want to start going to Al-Anon meetings again. Those were the good days.

While I am grateful so much for my family, I wish they were different. We don't rely on each other enough. We can't depend on each other without strings attached. I hate that.

I want to move away again. I love being here but I want to be away. It's so weird all these feelings I have.

Sometimes I wish I was the blogger that wrote about my day and the events and things like that, but I'm not. I'm more of a feelings blogger. I don't really know if that's good or bad. My blog isn't private which means anyone can read it. Anyone can know me and my innermost thoughts. Well some of my innermost thoughts. That's sort of creepy but also sort of liberating.

I don't try and be the best at anything. I hope it doesn't seem that way.

Chelsi and I are watching Grey's Anatomy. We love TV on DVD. Does anyone have suggestions for other shows? This is how we roll: We rent whatever is in the center section of Blockbuster because those ones are only $.99. I have found that some of them are labeled "Blockbuster Favorites" which is a stupid way of saying "These cost more money because they are popular". SO they end up being $1.99. I hate that. Therefore we need the following TV's on DVD. If you have them, can I rent them from you for cheaper than a dollar ninety nine a disk? K. We need:

One Tree Hill Season 5
Desperate Housewives Season 5
Will be needing Greys Anatomy Season 3
And any other good ones.

I've personally seen Heroes (except this season), 24 (except this season) and some others. I hate not having DVR and Dish. Ugh.

K. Anyway, ideas anyone?

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