Phone Messages That Are Amazing

I caught this gem for you. So here's the story behind this guy. We used to have a sticky note taped to the computer with his number on it and a message that said "don't answer this phone number". He calls us all. the. time. Well, okay, he used to. Then he stopped for awhile. He started again.

He called me yesterday and we got cut off. Thankfully I remembered the number and didn't answer. Then he left a message. I have transcribed it here.

The story is this. He thinks we are going to come to his house, to pick up his cans, and give him money. Eh. No. We've tried explaining how number 1, we don't offer recycling in his area and number 2, if we did, he would pay US to come take it to the recycling center. We've also given him the number to the recycling place if he wants to take it himself. Phew. Exhausting.

Here's the message:

Yeah sorry um, okay what I say, ooh yeah oh yeah.  I was talk to you, you know, I think we got cut off. So I understand you don’t pick up cause then I’d have to pay you. You know.  Basically in my bank account actually  I have $2,035…$35,000. Its all in my bank account. So um, well what I could do is actually, I would have done this yesterday um, drive to your recycling company, but I forgot about it. Um I could do it ummm maaayyybbee (in a really high voice) um…. I could do it right now.  So I could drive there you know . Drop the cans so you know,  You give money to me.  Everybody be happy. Okay, so what I’m gonna do is  I’m gonna drop off my can at recycling company. I’m going to go inside and say I’m here for soda cans. I’m here for my money. So.  Shoot in a way yes. So.  Okay? Okay. Bye. 

True statement. Lucky you. And lucky me to have participated in this conversation. 

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