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This Is All The Random Things In My Mind

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I love Jef Holm. Is that how you spell his name?
Creamslushes are so good. And not even that much cheaper (in PointsPlus) than a real shake and that makes me mad.

There's somewhat a lot of drama in my life in the form of like husband in China things, physical ailments. I peed out a black rock and some sand.

I can't wait to get the stoopid stent out.

I hate when my baby is not on her schedule and then I hate that she is on a schedule in the first place. Because I've never had a baby like that.

There are SO many movies that i need to see. Who wants to come?

If someone will virtually help me decorate, I will be so grateful. Like please?

There's only a few days left until he gets home. I don't even need to say it. We're in the single digits now people. Like for realz. We are gonna go to Fudruckers after he gets back because that's where we ate after he got off the plane from his mission. That was 2 years. This is only 3 months. but the missingness feels the same but worse.

Becky and Mike are moving and I wanna die. Bad and Janell already moved and I died then too. Like these people are all my favorites. How will I live without them? Like it actually makes me mad. And you would think I'd try and be supportive or something but I totally don't want to.

A shower is in store but first of all, I hate showering because SO much of my freaking hair falls out. And 2, I am too tired. So I'm gonna try and do it tomorrow. I took a picture. I'm gonna post it. It's gross to look at but I don't care.

Today a nurse from my OB/GYN called me today and she was all talking to me and then I went into the X Ray place and then Dr. Kells called me. And they called me back at the same time to get my x ray. So then I got my x ray and then I went and got my blood drawn. It was a lot of medical things. But I'm grateful that people care about me. I also feel like I am somewhat of a crazy person with all of my issues.

The end. I'm tired. Also, I have more to say but I'm thirsty and I have to go. Here's a picture to tide you over.

And there's usually more. This is a mild day. And thats rolled pretty tightly.

A Testimony

Sunday, July 29, 2012
Back a long time ago I read The Shack. It kind of changed my life forever. I haven't read it in awhile but I know that from it, I was able to really improve my relationship with God. (if you need a copy, let me know! I have a few. :-)).
My testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ comes not from the culture of the church, but from the pure foundations upon which it built. And I'm pretty sure that's all  that matters. My testimony is based in those same foundations. I've been able to look past all the "culture" that we see so often in the church. It's that same culture that often draws people away from the Gospel. Don't let it! Keep your testimony based in in the truth and those same basic principles, and you'll be just fine. Sometimes I need reminders.

I know the Savior atoned for my sins and my hurts and my ouches. I know it.
I know Joseph Smith restored the Gospel to this earth. And that it is restored as it was a long long long time ago with the priesthood and prophets as leaders. I may have a hard time with men in the church, but I can't deny this is the way it's supposed to be.
The Book of Mormon IS another testament of Jesus Christ just as the Bible is a testament of Jesus Christ.

Tithing is amazing. It brings blessings beyond my comprehension. And it works. It really does.

Beyond that, I know God is there for me. He is there for me to talk to. He loves me. I'm so grateful for that. And I hope you know that too!

That's all. It's simple. It's basic. But it's what I always come back to.


 

It's Cute to Boot

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I shouldn't be allowed to move. Probably I should just stay in one spot. Remember this? Well I got another one! Except this one is more like the glass slipper on Cinderella.


Do you wonder what happened this time? Well I don't want to tell you. You know how last time I walked out my front door and gracefully fell? Same thing. Except this time it was on my stairs, and I was holding Genevieve in her car seat. Luckily she was strapped in. And she screamed for like one second and then was over it.

You wanna know the first thing I did after once again gracefully falling? I looked around to see if anyone else saw what happened. Then I hurriedly got up and got in my car. I mean, we were already going to be barely on time for Jacksons kindergarten screening. Plus, I think all the adrenaline was there. On the way however, it started to wear off and I started to speed up. It hurt! I called my mom and was laughing and crying at the same time. Like really?

My mom(s) came to the rescue. One took me to the hospital and the other took my kids to Katie. Thankfully I have this great support group! I need it!

You know how sometimes you put your underwear on inside out on accident cause it's dark in your room when you put them on? Yeah. That was me today. Bad day to do that. And also I had this feeling this morning to paint my toenails. But I didn't because there was no time. So I put on my Tom's cause they cover my toes. Again, bad day to do that.

So my mom thinks that I'm being given these trials to teach me that I can't do everything on my own. David said he thinks its to teach me both that I CAN do hard things and I can't do it alone. Yeah. I think that's a good one. I've always had a hard time asking for help. In all shapes and forms.

I asked the x-ray tech if he could just take some of my kidneys cause I needed them (the x-rays) before my blasting this Thursday. Unfortunately, he couldn't. So I headed over to the imaging place and got undressed again to get more radiation on my body. This technician said I could look at the images. My friend the kidney stone, was sitting right in the loop of the stent. That little buggar. I called him something else to a few of my friends. It's inappropriate to say on this blog. I'm thinking I'd like to name him. And yes it is a him. Because men are like kidney stones. I don't need to list the ways. Please offer your suggestions for names. It's too bad he's getting blasted to pieces. My mom said I should make a necklace.

Sadie said she likes my new shoe.

I don't have any feet left to break/sprain. Let's hope we don't move on to arms.

I'm Back Beeyotches

Saturday, July 21, 2012
I think it might be this whole summer experience.
David left. I mean, one minute he was here and the next he was gone for 3 months. Literally. The morning he said goodbye, I cried and he smiled. He was excited to take off on his new adventure and I was terrified. But I woke up the next day and did what I had to do. That very day, all of my anxiety and fear was gone. It was the anticipation that was killing me. Literally. I felt like I was going to have a breakdown every minute of the day before he left.

We're now 2 and a half months into it and I couldn't be better. For reals. (Jackson says that now). I feel more confident than I ever have. My relationship with David is better than ever!

Sorry to be braggy. But this is a huge moment for me!

I think it officially hit me yesterday sometime. I felt this overwhelming urge to write a blog titled "I'm back b!t&$#s" but I edited it for my readers. You know that's a saying right? Like, I'm back homies. lol. There is a fire within me that hasn't been there for a long time. It's been out. But it's there. And it's raging!

With this summer there have been challenges of all sorts. And I think, because I've gotten through them, I feel so much stronger. Almost like I can take on the world. And what this has to do with my confidence? I don't know. But I'm loving it.

And how did David and I get to this level of greatness that I keep telling everyone about? I don't know that either. But it's amazing. I know for him, he has had a lot of time to ponder and think about stuff. He is changed. We have changed.

I remember that I used to be a confident girl. I mean, I kind of always have been. But life and its experiences have worn me down like I'm sure they do for everyone. Just a little here, and a little there, they've chipped away at the confidence within me until there wasn't really anything there. To the outside world, I think I might have appeared the same. But people who know me, know that something's been missing.

But it's back! I feel like the girl I am supposed to be! I feel physically better! Emotionally better!

This is where I can officially say that this summer has been a blessing. I had been telling people that I was trying to consider it a blessing because a lot of couples won't have this chance to be away from each other... well it IS a blessing.

Don't think it's not hard. Every day is a challenge for me. Sometimes I just don't want to make another dinner and i don't want to change another diaper and I don't want to get up so often in the night. etc etc etc. But that won't last forever.

I'm hoping that what I have, and what WE have together, will.

This is literally hours! before he left! We went and saw the midnight premiere of The Avengers. Good stuff.

These Things I'll Never Say. Oh Wait, I Just Did.

Saturday, July 14, 2012
I want to get famous.

How do you get people to give you stuff so you can have giveaways on your blog? How popular do you have to be? I just want to have a giveaway. But I don't want to be the person that gives away. LIke  I want someone to give me some stuff so I can sound and be popular.

I'll probably get famous by association because I will be on the background of a submission video for some people I know who got a callback from a TV show. I can't disclose any more information cause I don't have permission. And plus, I might have to kill you.

I'm never sure what to do with my old magazines. Like the minimalist in me says to get rid of them. But the paper is so thick and the information is so good. And i know that people like to collect them in case they make collages and stuff. But my top two reasons are the thickness of the paper (I have like, a thing about paper. It's kind of an obsession.) and the information. Today for example, I pulled out an old mag and looked up a hairstyle I remember seeing in it. You'll see me rockin' it at church tomorrow even though I totally could have come up with it on my own. But I didn't. And the other ones I saw are too hard.

I went to a wedding reception tonight (Congrats Brok and Kali!). It was completely gorgeous btw. SHE was completely gorgeous. And I can't lie, so was he. lol. I'm allowed to say that because I've known him for like 6 hundred years. But seriously. Did you go? You should have. So it took me back to my wedding day. Best day of my life. No kidding. Well fine, it's in that category of "best days of my life". I wish there were a board on Pinterest for that. I could make one but it would be hard.

Warning: Goobatron information ahead. Don't read it. Well anyway, So I love David. More than I ever have. I feel like our relationship has solidified. We are at a new level too. It's so crazy to explain. I'll do it later cause it's totally worth its own post. But I love him. I don't need anything else or anyone else except him. And my kids. And well, my friends. lol. But you get what I'm saying right?

I have this really cool chair in my kitchen. I need someone to do some free interior decorating for me. Any takers? please? I'll pay in food. Please? Like seriously. I want an online consultation thing. LIke I'll send pictures of my house and someone just tell me what to do. But I want input. Because I'm picky.

Like is my new favorite word apparently. It's gross. I'm not in high school. Or the 80's. Or ditzy. Well the last one is debatable. ha. Lets go through and count all the "likes" in this post so far. 7. Including the ones that are not like, used that way. Like okay?

I just ate my feelings in the form of a half of a club sandwich that my neighbor shared with me. It had bacon on it. Yum. It's like 10 at night. Oh well. I should have taken a picture of it and Instagram'ed it. Gross. I sort of HATe when people do that. Well I did it with my bowl of fruit. Only cause it was pretty and I didn't use a filter. I also secretly hate when people hashtag the crap out of their pictures. For reals? So ya post a picture of yourself. And then you're really gonna do this: #pretty #awesome #hot #redhead #boots #americanbirdstore #sexy #hurley #gucci #blueeyes #blue #red #head #hair #sweet #tan #fitness #sixpack... and then? When there's not enough room on that comment, you do another one? Eh. I don't think that's classy. Danica. Can you please do a Sometimes, Always, Never on Instagram? It might be good for you anyway since you're kind of scared of it I think.

Well I love everyone. I am going to bed because I can. Even though I don't want to. I have a million and eight hundred things to do. But I am sleepy. Super uber sleepy.

Another Day In The Life

Friday, July 13, 2012
It rained today. Rained like it should have rained a long time ago. What? That doesn't even make sense.

Cheyenne went with me today to Mingus Springs  Charter School where I (well Jackson) was turned down for admission. That was before I name dropped. "Oh, well my mother in law who is on the school board mentioned she thought there was space here." "Who is your mother-in-law". "Jolyne Nickle." "Oh well Dawn will give you a call on Monday morning to let you know if that has changed.". I'm hoping for a call on Monday morning with some "changes".

Then we went to Davids school where I had to run into a building to drop off a copy of our tax return. Well that wouldn't be a problem normally but it was pourrrrrring rain. The kind that soaks everything. So I ran into the fancy financial aid building where there were several people. Staring. At me. Thinking I was crazy for being there. Remember how David goes to a fancy school? Yeah. Those people were wearing suits. Waiting for the rain to stop before they went out. And here I came in.  I kind of loved it. It's refreshing to get soaked from rain.

So then the lady at financial aid tells me that she definitely doesn't need a copy of our tax return but some other fancy thing I have to order from the irs.gov website. And that David needs to fill out this specific form and return it to her. I had previously told her that David was in China and then I said, "Well what if I was lying before and David is actually in the car?" And she was funny and understood what I was saying and in case you don't, I was asking her if I could forge his signature and bring it back later. She said yes. lol.

We went back home and Jackson really wanted to play in the mud. So he got to.

Photo

He said, "Mom, the mud feels so good on my feet." It was totally cute.

Trish and I cleaned out the garage a bit. But then we got tired and came inside to eat. Now I am here. I ate two dinners tonight. It was awesome.

I love my neighbors. And you!

Last Day At Our Friends House

Sunday, July 8, 2012
It's because they are the people that make you feel comfortable. They are giving and kind. We really meshed well together. Brigitte, having met Hannah for the second time last night, offered to take her baby a couple times and I think Hannah offered the same (sorry I don't remember). Brigitte and Robert completely opened up their house for destroying by 8 kids and they totally did (destroy it that is). The kids got to paint and have glow sticks and hot dogs and play in the water and in the moon dough and watch Mickey Mouse! How fun. And I don't think anyone fought, except for the adults over who was cheating in the game. lol.

We ate dinner. We played Clue. We talked vaccines. The game probably took an hour or so because we had a gazillion kids running around, and in our arms. But it was totally worth it!

We got to hang out with some friends "last day" as Sadie and Jackson would say. Robert and Brigitte and Hannah and alllllllll the kids. It was way fun.

It got me to thinking (and I think I've said this before) that I totally appreciate good friendships. I mean, I don't hang out with them all the time, or even that often. But when I do, I feel completely revived and happy.

Poor Robert was the only man. On the way out the door he had Nevie and her seat in one arm and Ben in the other. It was nice of him.

I left with my arms full of other things like clothes and shoes and unfortunately, not her couch pillows.

I'm just excited at the prospect of these growing friendships because I truly believe they are what make my life so much better. Thanks to allllll of you.

I've really been blessed lately in that department. So many people I know have stepped up for me especially when it hasn't been convenient for any of them.

My good friend Angela helped me out the day I went to the hospital. She drove me there, watched me vomit and slipped me some ice when she wasn't supposed to. That's a good friend. Then she came home, filled my car with gas, cleaned my house, did my laundry, and folded it too! She dictated some classy text messages for me as well. Love her.

My mama was there too. She was great.I can't say enough words about her really. She's done too many things to name. A girl really just needs her mom in most cases. And in those cases for me, I've been lucky enough to have her there. She was my mama bear when I needed it. She went out in the hallway and stole me some washclothes to wet my head and clean my face after vomiting. I'm pretty sure she's the one that got me the awesome medicine in my arm too.

Katie has been awesome. This lady is superwoman! She has a million callings, 5 kids, and her own life to deal with and she always is asking me when she can take my kids or what she can do. And every week I can count on her to watch my kids so I can run errands. It's more helpful than I think she knows. I hope she does. I'm so thankful.

My in-laws are incredible. They take the kids pretty often for me. On my hospital stays, they're always the ones that have them. I know they are safe and taken care of. The first time I went to the ER, Mom Nickle came over and took them so I could leave pretty quickly. My kids love her and think the world of her. I'm thankful for the peace of mind I have when they are there.

Hannah has been there for pretty much everything too. The night before I went to the hospital she asked if she could come cook me dinner. She ended up spending the night and It was kind of a crazy blessing that she did. I woke up that next morning feeling soo crappy and knew I needed to go. Well, she was there. And I Didn't have a phone! What would I have done? She got all 6 kids ready and took Nevie for me overnight when I was there (at the hospital). Good friend!

I know I;m not mentioning all the people I should mention. Like my sisters and people who constantly send me text messages to check on me. And my dad who comes over pretty much every day to check on me and feed my chickens and takes my trash out. And lets my kids sit on him. lol.
I know I've been a little goobery lately with my posts but I can't help it.

I'm also taking Percocet for pain. I need to thank the Percocet.

Where I've Been Lately

Tuesday, July 3, 2012
I haven't had my phone for approximately 3 days and 4 hours. Just kidding. I don't know to the exact hour, but close. The kids were playing with it and then all of a sudden it wouldn't charge. But don't tell anyone. I'm getting a new one tomorrow and I'm kind of sad. Sorry if I haven't texted you back! I love you!

Logging on to Facebook from my computer at home, I had 25 notifications! 25 I say! Instead of checking it all day long, it was one sitting. I didn't even try and scroll through all the important info I missed on everyone lives. Fill me in!

Especially because I have my own information to brag about. Everyone likes a good story right? Mine's not good. It's just complainy.

I woke up yesterday (was it really only yesterday?) with immense death kidney pain at 7:00 a.m.. It was a day where I knew I was gonna have to take some Vicodin I had been given from my last time in the hospital. I think I have taken one since then. That was back on June 14th. So I tried to decide what to do. My good friend Hannah had spent the night and I asked her what to do. She told me to try and eat some dry toast so I wouldn't have an empty stomach with the Vicodin. Well I wasn't havin' it. I was havin' diarrhea instead. I don't care if that's TMI. It's totally part of this story. Anyway, that and my mouth was already so dry. So I left those Vicodin on the counter and decided I needed to go to the hospital. I couldn't drive myself so at first I tried my mom and dad but they didn't answer so I called my good friend Angela and she came and picked me up. Thanks go to Hannah for getting ready 6 kids and taking them in a car!

Angela rushed me as fast as she could. I brought my Paula Dean bowl to vomit in just in case (cause I had already vomited twice at home. And I am NOT a vomiter). They got me to the ER and my sweet mom showed up there too. The admittance people could tell I was in alotta pain so they got me back pretty quickly. If only they could've given me medicine just as quick. Ugh. I seriously have never experienced that much pain.

Remember childbirth? Remember that pain ladies (especially all you freshly birthed women)? Well, it's worse than that. My little Genevieve came naturally and I would have preferred that over this. There was NO break and it was death. I have been saying that if I ever have to experience that pain agian, I'm going to gouge my heart out. With a dull knife. Because it will be better than experiencing it again. I want to shudder at the thought. Is that a word? Shudder?

Anyway, so they gave me something awesome in my arm muscle cause I totally wasn't waiting for the stupid IV. And that made me happy. I made LOTS of friends over the next little while. I got an IV (After 3 tries) and got more happy medicine. Does anyone know the name? Its like Toradol maybe?
Mmmmm happiness. I am pretty sure I don't remember anything about the last couple of days. I know i sent some strange texts and left a nice voicemail to my brother Mike for his birthday. I think I proposed to a married man too. lol. All the workers were my friends. I even tried to make friends with another redhead next door to me. I loved everyone.

So anyway, did another CT scan and found out that my stupid 11 mm kidney stone friend was blocking my ureter. I talked to my doc and he decided to try and remove it via surgery. So I got to be admitted and got to have some surgery!

He said when he went in, that he was able to catch it in this little basket type thing but every time he tried to bring it down the ureter, it would float back out. He said he tried 3 times! So I got a stent in my kidney to keep it from blocking again. I still have to go to Phoenix to have it blasted to pieces. Then I have to pass all those little buggers. I have another 4 mm one in my other side and several small ones in both sides. Ugh. Gross.

For now, I just pee a lot of blood and have cramps and a little back pain. It's better than it was! I am thankful for my friends and family who helped and are helping me out SO much right now. Really. I can't even list everyone because there's too much.

David didn't get my mom's email about it until 12 last night. I attempted to talk to him through my narcotics and sleepy haze but it wasn't working well. He did mention that his teacher said he could come home!!! Eek! How exciting right? Well I said no. He needs to finish it out. We can do this.

My throat hurts from the tube they put in your throat from surgery. Oh and I got a million little heart monitor things stuck on my body. I kept finding them later. Seriously I think I had at least 12. Good times. 

This is totally a boring post. It's not meant to be entertaining or anything. I just want documentation. Don't worry, I WON'T be posting the rood picture my mom took of me in my bed after I came out of surgery. I had the shakes bad style. Did you get the shakes too?